Do the Evolution

Uhhh...

2006-09-11T23:19:00.000-04:00

Moments of Science

2006-05-17T12:45:00.000-04:00

First, we have a massive sandstorm consuming Qadisiyah Airbase in Al Anbar Province, Iraq:

Next, an ultra-swank "sleight of tentacle" show courtesy the incredible, edible octopus:

Now, behold the awe-inspiring power of neodymium magnets, ball bearings, and an old English guy:

And finally, here's a video comprised of a series of images gathered by the Huygens spacecraft's Descent Imager/Spectral Radiometer as the probe drifted down through Titan's hazy, hydrocarbon-enriched atmosphere:

A Word from President Gore

2006-05-14T12:19:00.000-04:00

"We're in some serious trouble here, boys and girls."

2006-05-11T18:29:00.000-04:00

Wha...?!

2006-05-10T23:40:00.000-04:00

Oh my God...

2006-05-10T20:18:00.000-04:00

Enlightened Illumination

2006-05-08T18:41:00.000-04:00

Creationism dismissed as 'a kind of paganism' by Vatican's astronomer

IAN JOHNSTON

BELIEVING that God created the universe in six days is a form of superstitious paganism, the Vatican astronomer Guy Consolmagno claimed yesterday.

Brother Consolmagno, who works in a Vatican observatory in Arizona and as curator of the Vatican meteorite collection in Italy, said a "destructive myth" had developed in modern society that religion and science were competing ideologies.

He described creationism, whose supporters want it taught in schools alongside evolution, as a "kind of paganism" because it harked back to the days of "nature gods" who were responsible for natural events.

Brother Consolmagno argued that the Christian God was a supernatural one, a belief that had led the clergy in the past to become involved in science to seek natural reasons for phenomena such as thunder and lightning, which had been previously attributed to vengeful gods. "Knowledge is dangerous, but so is ignorance. That's why science and religion need to talk to each other," he said.

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism - it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

Brother Consolmagno, who was due to give a speech at the Glasgow Science Centre last night, entitled "Why the Pope has an Astronomer", said the idea of papal infallibility had been a "PR disaster". What it actually meant was that, on matters of faith, followers should accept "somebody has got to be the boss, the final authority".

"It's not like he has a magic power, that God whispers the truth in his ear," he said.

I've fallen and I can't get up!

2006-05-08T17:40:00.001-04:00

Bush approval rating hits new low

Updated 5/8/2006 1:42 PM ET
By Susan Page, USA TODAY

WASHINGTON — President Bush's approval rating has slumped to 31% in a new USA TODAY/Gallup Poll, the lowest of his presidency and a warning sign for Republicans in the November elections.

The survey of 1,013 adults, taken Friday through Sunday, shows Bush's standing down by 3 percentage points in a single week. His disapproval rating also reached a record: 65%. The margin of error is +/- 3 percentage points.

"It is a challenging political environment," acknowledges Tracey Schmitt, a spokeswoman for the Republican National Committee, "but we are confident that ultimately voters in November will recognize that a Democrat Congress would simply not be equipped to ensure either economic or national security for our nation."

Bush's fall is being fueled by erosion among support from conservatives and Republicans. In the poll, 52% of conservatives and 68% of Republicans approved of the job he is doing. Both are record lows among those groups.

Moderates gave him an approval rating of 28%, liberals of 7%.

"You hear people say he has a hard core that will never desert him, and that has been the case for most of the administration," says Charles Franklin, a political scientist at the University of Wisconsin who studies presidential approval ratings. "But for the last few months, we started to see that hard core seriously erode in support."

Only four presidents have scored lower approval ratings since the Gallup Poll began regularly measuring it in the mid-1940s: Harry Truman, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter and the first George Bush. When Nixon, Carter and the elder Bush sank below 35%, they never again registered above 40%.

Truman twice sank into the low 30s and then rose into the 60s, but the third time his rating fell, it stayed below 40% as well.

"Historically it's been pretty devastating to presidents at this level," Franklin says. Even Republican members of Congress are "now so worried about their electoral fortunes in November that he has less leverage with them than he normally would with his own party controlling Congress."

So, about that "mandate", George...

This is my happening and it freaks me out!

2006-05-08T01:40:00.000-04:00

The Kinks - All Day and All of the Night

The Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

The Who - So Sad About Us

The Beatles - Rain

The Birds Redux

2006-05-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

This isn't happening; this isn't happening; this isn't happening...

2006-05-05T03:31:00.000-04:00

Climate Change Drives Disease To New Territory
Viruses Moving North to Areas Unprepared for Them, Experts Say

By Doug Struck
Washington Post Foreign Service
Friday, May 5, 2006; Page A16

TORONTO -- Valere Rommelaere, 82, survived the D-Day invasion in Normandy, but not a mosquito bite. Six decades after the war, the hardy Saskatchewan farmer was bitten by a bug carrying a disease that has spread from the equator to Canada as temperatures have risen. Within weeks, he died from West Nile virus.

Global warming -- with an accompanying rise in floods and droughts -- is fueling the spread of epidemics in areas unprepared for the diseases, say many health experts worldwide. Mosquitoes, ticks, mice and other carriers are surviving warmer winters and expanding their range, bringing health threats with them.

Malaria is climbing the mountains to reach populations in higher elevations in Africa and Latin America. Cholera is growing in warmer seas. Dengue fever and Lyme disease are moving north. West Nile virus, never seen on this continent until seven years ago, has infected more than 21,000 people in the United States and Canada and killed more than 800.

The World Health Organization has identified more than 30 new or resurgent diseases in the last three decades, the sort of explosion some experts say has not happened since the Industrial Revolution brought masses of people together in cities.

"We didn't even know West Nile virus existed here," said Maria Bujak, 63, of Toronto. Her husband, Andrew, contracted the disease in their garden in 2002. He never fully recovered, she said, and died two years later.

"Tropical diseases are here to stay in Canada. We needed our government to wake up and tell us that," said Douglas Elliott, a Toronto lawyer who has brought suit against the Ontario government on behalf of about 40 victims, contending that the government did not do enough to inform the public about the dangers of West Nile.

Scientists have warned for more than a decade that climate change would broaden the range of many diseases. But the warnings were couched in the future, and qualified. The spread of disease is affected by many uncertainties, including unforeseen resistance to antibiotics, failures of public health systems, population movement and yearly climate swings. For that reason, some scientists have been cautious about the link between disease and global warming.

But Paul Epstein, a physician who worked in Africa and is now on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, said that, if anything, scientists weren't worried enough about the problem.

"Things we projected to occur in 2080 are happening in 2006. What we didn't get is how fast and how big it is, and the degree to which the biological systems would respond," Epstein said in an interview in Boston. "Our mistake was in underestimation."

The incremental boost already detected in the Earth's temperature, for example, has expanded the range and activities of disease carriers.

"Insects are exquisitely sensitive to temperature changes," a report prepared by Epstein and others at Harvard's Center for Health and the Global Environment noted in November.

The clearest case for that, according to the report's authors, is in cold areas. The higher elevations of Africa, the Andes mountains in South America and the Alps in Europe are warming at a faster pace than lowlands. As ice caps and glaciers melt, forests inch higher on the mountains, and insects carry diseases from warmer lowlands farther up the slopes.

A WHO report in 2000 found that warming had caused malaria to spread from three districts in western Kenya to 13 and led to epidemics of the disease in Rwanda and Tanzania. In Sweden, cases of tick-borne encephalitis have risen in direct correlation to warmer winters. Asian tiger mosquitoes, the type that carry dengue fever, have been reported recently as far north as the Netherlands.

As the seas warm, other breeders thrive. Cholera, a waterborne disease, emerged in South America in 1991 for the first time in the 20th century. Abetted by poverty and poor public health, it swept from Peru across the continent and into Mexico, killing more than 10,000 people.

Diseases are also expanding in a surprisingly complex dance with their environment, taking advantage of the swings from deluge to drought made more frequent by global warming, Epstein said.

A common house mosquito, called the Culex pipiens , for example, unexpectedly thrives in drought. It lives in drainpipes and sewer puddles. During long dry spells, the stagnant pools teem with protein and attract thirsty birds on which mosquitoes feed. Meanwhile, droughts reduce the populations of dragonflies, lacewings and frogs that eat the mosquitoes.

The Culex pipiens is a favored carrier of a disease first identified in a feverish woman in the West Nile district of Uganda in 1937. The disease was found again in Israel in the 1950s, and in Romania in 1996. Each outbreak followed an unusual dry, hot spell, typical of adverse weather becoming more frequent as a result of climate change, concluded researchers at the University of Haifa in Israel.

In 1999, the virus landed in New York, probably at LaGuardia Airport. Disease sleuths speculate that it was lurking in a mosquito stowaway on a plane, or in the bloodstream of someone already infected. That summer also brought unusually hot, arid weather to New York, perfect for the Culex pipiens.

Before the year was over, 62 people had been infected and seven had died, the first of them elderly. The next two years were more temperate, but when another hot, dry summer hit in 2002, the disease exploded across the United States and into Canada.

Susan Harrison, then 45, prepared a Labor Day barbecue that year with her husband and two daughters on the deck of their small house in Toronto. She was bitten by a mosquito, but shrugged it off.

In a few days, she felt a shooting pain in her legs. Within two weeks, she could not get out of bed. Her husband, Phil, rushed her to the hospital, where she was put on a respirator and spent three months in intensive care. She now maneuvers around her narrow house in a wheelchair, her legs and right arm paralyzed by West Nile virus.

Tears welled in her eyes as he spoke of her daughters, Allison, 10, and Tara, 13. "I used to do things with them, take them places," she said. Her husband, a waiter, struggles to fill the role of two parents.

West Nile virus killed 304 people in North America in 2002 and 276 the next year. The toll dropped to about 100 in 2004, probably because of cooler weather and mosquito-control measures.

West Nile has killed 22 people in Maryland, Virginia and the District since 2001.

Despite the recent drop in the death toll, birds and horses in hot western regions are still being devastated, and the disease has likely not finished with humans.

"West Nile virus hasn't gone away. People still need to be aware that it's there," said Edward B. Hayes, a medical epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Fort Collins, Colo. "Whether we have large-scale epidemics is anyone's guess."

Climate change already is claiming more than 150,000 lives each year, with causes ranging from heat waves to respiratory illness, WHO concluded last year.

Some scientists see global warming as a natural cycle that will soon reverse itself, but for many governments, the handwriting is increasingly clear. Britain's environment minister warned last year that malaria might reach that country. South Africa's environmental affairs minister said last year that the country could face a fourfold increase in malaria by 2020. The Canadian government now attributes the boost in West Nile virus to climate change, and last year warned that the country might eventually experience dengue fever, yellow fever and malaria.

"One of the problems we have in North America is coming to grips with the fact that epidemics are still a problem," said Elliott, the lawyer. "Canadians, prior to West Nile virus, just considered mosquitoes to be annoying. We had never thought of mosquitoes as being disease carriers."

Intelijunt Desine

2006-05-02T23:10:00.000-04:00

No he din't! Oh, no he din't!

2006-04-30T14:45:00.000-04:00

Stephen Colbert has balls. Balls the size of lobster pots. God bless 'im.

The Final Revelation

2006-04-30T12:38:00.000-04:00

"You fuckin' nin-com-fuckin'-poop!"

This might be the funniest thing I've seen in a good, long while. Ladies and gentlemen, behold: the Spirit of Truth.

Who's Your Daddy?

2006-04-27T11:29:00.000-04:00

Senators to push for $100 gas rebate checks

Under proposal, every U.S. taxpayer would get one

From Dana Bash
CNN
Thursday, April 27, 2006; Posted: 5:44 a.m. EDT (09:44 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Every American taxpayer would get a $100 rebate check to offset the pain of higher pump prices for gasoline, under an amendment Senate Republicans hope to bring to a vote Thursday.

However, the GOP energy package may face tough sledding because it also includes a controversial proposal to open part of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in Alaska to oil exploration, which most Democrats and some moderate Republicans oppose.

Democrats are also expected to offer their own competing proposal, as members of both parties jockey for political position on the gas price issue.

The energy package, sponsored by Sens. Charles Grassley of Iowa, Ted Stevens of Alaska, Pete Domenici of New Mexico and Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, will be offered as an amendment to an emergency spending measure now before the Senate funding the Iraq war and hurricane relief, according to a senior GOP leadership aide.

Under Senate rules, either the GOP amendment or the Democratic alternative would probably need 60 votes to pass, which is considered unlikely. However, the amendments would give senators a change to cast votes on measures designed to help constituents being hit by high gas prices.

As outlined by the senior GOP leadership aide, the energy package would give taxpayers a $100 rebate, repeal tax incentives for oil companies and allow the Federal Trade Commission to prosecute retailers unlawfully inflating the price of gasoline.

The measure would also give the Transportation Department authority to issue fuel efficiency standards for passenger vehicles, expand tax incentives for the use of hybrid vehicles and push for more research into alternative fuels and expansion of existing oil refineries.

The GOP senators are also calling on the Bush administration to suspend deposits into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve for six months to increase the nation's oil supply. President Bush announced Tuesday that he would halt new deposits into the reserve until after the summer driving season.

On the other side of the aisle, Democrats on Wednesday called for a new energy bill and federal legislation to punish price gougers.

"There's no reason why we can't put forth a real energy policy that addresses the needs of this nation," said Rep. Bart Stupak, a member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, "from gouging to market manipulation to biofuels. We can do it."

And leaders of the Senate Finance Committee on Wednesday asked the Internal Revenue Service to let them examine the tax returns of the nation's 15 largest oil and gas companies, as part of a "comprehensive review" of oil industry profits.

"I want to make sure the oil companies aren't taking a speed pass by the tax man," said Grassley, the committee's chairman, in a written statement.

Hey, why not? A $100.00-per-taxpayer handout from the GOP? During an election year?

Sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?

Like, saaaay...oh, back during the 2000 campaign, when Bush scored some votes with a $300.00 tax rebate bribe?

The Other Magical Fruit

2006-04-26T13:12:00.000-04:00

"Tony Snow has a fearsome reputation for inducing flatulence."

Well, the Bush administration has a new White House press secretary. Say hello to Tony Snow: Former speechwriter for the ever-so eloquent Bush the Elder, former Fox News propagandist shill, and -- judging by this picture -- aspiring game show host. Just look at the guy! That's one up-beat, happening motherfucker! Woo-HOO!

Go ahead...pull his finger. I dare you. He dares you. Just do it -- you won't be sorry. Judging by his perkier-than-thou, "aw, shucks", car salesman-esque appearance, I think it's safe to say that Snow's smile can only be the brightly confident smile of a man who's been eating them new-fangled Venezuelan fartless beans! That's good, seeing as how Snow is just as full of shit as any other neocon jackass slithering around DC these days.

According to Dim Son, Snow's job is to "explain my decisions to the press."

Naw...! Get the fuck outta here!

The Chimperor went on to add that the randy fucker isn't at all "afraid to express his own opinions", which is great if Snow was to continue hosting his talk show on Fox News Radio, but White House press briefings aren't exactly the place to wax editorial. You see, what you want from the White House press secretary are facts, not a load of opinionated bullshit. But, this is the Bush administration, so I guess I shouldn't expect much in the way of, y'know, facts an' stuff. Or truth... Or transparency... Or, or, or...

Hey, he can't be any worse than ol' Scotty McClellan. At least Snow doesn't look like an uncooked, sebum-stained haggis.

Then again...

On an unrelated note, here's my Top Ten of the Week:

01) Roy Orbison - You're My Baby
02) Speedy West and Jimmy Bryant - Jammin' With Jimmy
03) Billy Lee Riley - Flyin' Saucer Rock n' Roll
04) The Beatles - Slow Down
05) Louis Armstrong - I Double Dare You
06) Jimmie Rodgers - Train Whistle Blues
07) Leadbelly - The Midnight Special
08) Elvis Presley - Just Because
09) Johnny Burnette - Rockabilly Boogie
10) Harry Belafonte - Jump in the Line

The Magical Fruit

2006-04-26T13:09:00.000-04:00

"Beans have a fearsome reputation for inducing flatulence."

Experts make flatulence-free bean

A method of creating super-nutritious but flatulence-free beans has been developed by scientists.

Beans are a cheap and key source of nutrition especially in the developing world, but many people are thought to be put off by anti-social side-effects.

A Venezuelan team says fermenting beans with certain friendly bacteria can cut the amount of wind-causing compounds, and boost beans' nutritional value.

The research appears in the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture.

Flatulence is caused by bacteria that live in the large intestine breaking down parts of food - such as soluble fibre - that have not been digested higher in the gut

Beans, such as the black bean commonly eaten across Central and Southern America and tested by the team, contain many of these compounds.

Researchers from the Simon Bolivar University in Caracas found that by boosting the natural fermentation process by adding a particular type of bacteria , called Lactobacillus casei (L casei), the amount of these indigestible wind-causing compounds were reduced.

Soluble fibre was reduced by two thirds and the amount of raffinose, another flatulence-causing substance, by 88.6%.

But the amount of insoluble fibre, which is thought to have a beneficial effect on the gut and help the digestive system get rid of toxins, increased by 97.5%.

The team concludes that fermentation involving L casei could decrease flatulence compounds and increase nutritional quality.

They suggest the bacteria is used by the food industry to create better bean products.

The team led by Marisela Granito said: "Given that flatulence is one of the main limiting factors for the consumption of this important foodstuff, the implementation of processes which allow for nutritious and non-flatulence-producing beans to be obtained would be interesting."

'Social concerns'

Dr Frankie Phillips, a nutrition expert and spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association, said: "This study provides an interesting lead in helping us to overcome some of the less desirable aspects of eating legumes - i.e. flatulence - whilst ensuring that the nutritional benefits from eating them remain.

"On a practical note, some people find that gradually increasing consumption levels of legumes helps, as the body adapts, and others have no symptoms at all.

"I'd suggest trying small portions of legumes as part of a meal and gradually eating larger portions as they can be tolerated."

She said that products existed, mainly in the US, which can help reduce flatulence.

She added: "Despite the obvious social concerns, there is no physiological harm from the flatulence caused by eating beans and other legumes, and considerable nutritional benefits from eating them owing to fibre content as well as a wide range of other nutrients and phytonutrients."

It's a Gas, Gas, Gas

2006-04-21T14:09:00.000-04:00

Bend over, grab your ankles, and get ready for this summer, friends and neighbors. We're all gonna get a chance to hop in the Wayback Machine and revisit the disco-licious, oh-so fun gasoline droughts of the late '70s!

US fuel crunch worsens

By Richard Valdmanis and Janet McGurty

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Dozens of gasoline stations from Virginia to Massachusetts ran short of fuel on Friday as suppliers struggled with a transition to a new anti-smog gasoline blend using corn-based ethanol as an additive, marketers said.

The disruptions, caused in part by a lack of trucks to move ethanol to supply terminals, comes amid an already severe spike in retail gasoline prices to near $3 per gallon as the cost of crude hits new highs.

"The situation here is chaotic," said Mike O'Connor, president of the Virginia Petroleum Jobbers Association, which represents gas stations in the state. He said his association is seeking a federal waiver to allow the sale of lower grade gasoline to ease the crunch.

Fuel marketers said there were reports of gasoline stations running out of fuel in areas of Virginia, Maryland, around Washington D.C., in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and parts of Massachusetts.

"There are a handful of outages being reported across the region, but they are temporary," said Catherine Rossi, a spokeswoman for AAA Mid-Atlantic. "The problem is waiting for the trucks to get to the stations."

AAA is the largest motoring and leisure travel organization in North America.

The U.S. government had warned in recent weeks that gasoline supplies could be disrupted along the East Coast and in Texas as the oil industry shifts to the new anti-smog blend using ethanol.

Gasoline producers had previously used additive MTBE to make reformulated gasoline, required at a third of the nation's pumps to combat air pollution, but are phasing the chemical out because of the risk of lawsuits after several states banned it for contaminating groundwater.

The problem with the replacement additive, experts say, is that ethanol cannot be shipped in pipelines because it absorbs water condensation in the pipes, and requires trucks, rail cars or barges for transport.

"Anywhere there is reformulated gasoline and MTBE there will be a problem," said Jeff Lenard, director of communications at the National Association of Convenience Stores.

A federal waiver allowing the sale of conventional gasoline, instead of the anti-smog blend, would make it easier for fuel suppliers to sell gasoline without the ethanol additive.

"We're patiently waiting to see if the state will make a formal request on our behalf," said VPJA's O'Connor.

The Petroleum Marketers Association of America, which represents stations selling about 55 percent of the nation's gasoline, said it was unaware of any other state associations seeking a waiver.

"We're hoping this situation will be short-lived," said Rolf Hanson, executive director of the Pennsylvania Petroleum Association. "We think it is unlikely the government will grant waivers for a transitional issue like this one."

Yeah, we're all gonna have to find some boots made for walkin' here real soon. This is what happens when a) OPEC has the world's most powerful nation by the short-and-curlies and b) you elect a couple of slimy, duplicitous, greedy oilmen to the highest office in the land. Of course, the criminal, tycoon bastards who run the oil companies are lovin' this country right about now. Where else but right here in Bush's America can an amply-wattled, robber-baron bastard like Exxon CEO Lee Raymond enjoy a $400 million retirement parachute while the price of gas soars away into the stratosphere?

Maybe it's time this culture quit idolozing plutocrats and tycoons? Ya think? Or do you still think these Pimps of Mammon are swell, all-American guys? Y'all still buy that bullshit that these CEO swine are just a buncha honest-as-the-day-is-long, super-rich, flag-wavin' squirrels just tryin' to get a nut like the next guy, don't you?

No wonder this fucking pig is all smiles; he's the head of a company that pocketed $36 billion dollars in pure profit last year -- the biggest year-end cash harvest throughout the history of human civilization -- and he's taking a cool $400-mil back to his mansion on the hill while the vast majority of Americans pony up to get a cold hydrocarbon enema at their friendly neighborhood Exxon station.

Yeah, we all know why Lee's such a happy guy, don't we, America?

Sonic Wind

2006-04-19T13:50:00.000-04:00

Well, I got the new Calexico album this week. Garden Ruin, it's called.

Boy, I'll say...

I have to admit that I'm not too impressed with their latest platter. They've traded in almost all of their border-town noir, dusty ambience, and high-desert surrealism for vaguely interesting, singer-songwriter/adult-alternative blandness. Of course, they'll never be able to completely ditch their roots -- there's still a nice, southwestern flavor to a few of the songs. But, listening to Garden Ruin is like listening to somebody from the deep south who's trying to cover up their accent in order to seem more cosmopolitan.

Anyway, here you go: another damned Top Twenty Songs of the Moment:

01) Neko Case & Her Boyfriends - No Need to Cry
02) Calexico - Ballad of Cable Hogue
03) Hank Williams - Lost Highway
04) Social Distortion - Ring of Fire
05) Pell Mell - American Eagle
06) The Clash - Brand New Cadillac
07) The Rolling Stones - All Down the Line
08) The International Submarine Band - Luxury Liner
09) Junior Brown - Sugarfoot Rag
10) The Flatlanders - Tonight I Think I'm Gonna Go Downtown
11) R.E.M. - World Leader Pretend
12) Los Lobos - Las Amarillas
13) Luna - I Can't Wait
14) Teenage Fanclub - Alcoholiday
15) The Rolling Stones - Dead Flowers
16) The Band - Across the Great Divide
17) X - The Call of the Wreckin' Ball
18) Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
19) Neko Case & Her Boyfriends - Mood to Burn Bridges
20) Faces - You Can Make Me Dance, Sing, or Anything

Bonus Track: Eagles of Death Metal - I Want You So Hard (Boy's Bad News)

Mishto!

2006-04-15T10:36:00.000-04:00

You ever stop to wonder what might happen if you took Camper Van Beethoven and The Pogues, stuck 'em in a blender, and Osterized 'em but good?

If you like the idea of a Slavic gypsy-punk band who are heavily into Russian wedding tunes, Bertolt Brecht, and vodka, then Gogol Bordello will drop-kick you over the moon.

Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like These

2006-04-14T02:04:00.000-04:00

Oh my God, I made a mix! Oh my God! Beck, Beck, Beck!

Here you go: a bunch of songs not for the asking: my top 50 tunes of the moment, in no order other than alphabetical by song title.

Snicker away...

01) Frank Black - (I Want to Live on an) Abstract Plain
02) U2 - A Sort of Homecoming
03) The Who - Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere
04) Paul Westerberg - As Far as I Know
05) Big Star - Back of a Car
06) Social Distortion - Bad Luck
07) Urge Overkill - Bottle of Fur
08) Luna - California (All the Way)
09) The Mamas & the Papas - California Dreaming
10) Billy Bragg & Wilco - California Stars
11) The Replacements - Can't Hardly Wait
12) The Flying Burrito Brothers - Christine's Tune (Devil in Disguise)
13) Matthew Sweet - Come to California
14) The Posies - Definite Door
15) R.E.M. - Driver 8
16) The Yardbirds - For Your Love
17) Neil Young With Crazy Horse - Fuckin' Up
18) Led Zeppelin - Gallows Pole
19) Pearl Jam - Given to Fly
20) The Rolling Stones - Happy
21) The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Highway Child
22) Pearl Jam - I Got Shit
23) Wilco - I Must Be High
24) Frank Black & the Catholics - I Need Peace
25) U2 - In God's Country
26) Cracker - Let's Go for a Ride
27) Frank Black - Los Angeles
28) The Creation - Making Time
29) Led Zeppelin - Misty Mountain Hop
30) John Lennon - Nobody Told Me
31) Pell Mell - Nothing Lies Still Long
32) Loretta Lynn & Jack White - Portland Oregon
33) Led Zeppelin - Ramble On
34) Pavement - Range Life
35) Social Distortion - Ring of Fire
36) Chris Cornell - Seasons
37) Matthew Sweet - Sick of Myself
38) The Beach Boys - Sloop John B
39) Speedy West & Jimmy Bryant - Stratosphere Boogie
40) Mudhoney - Suck You Dry
41) Junior Brown - Sugarfoot Rag
42) R.E.M. - Texarkana
43) The Beatles - The Ballad of John and Yoko
44) Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake
45) Johnny Cash - The Rebel - Johnny Yuma
46) The Band - The Weight
47) Jerry Garcia - The Wheel
48) Meat Puppets - Up on the Sun
49) Dinosaur Jr. - Whatever's Cool With Me
50) Bob Dylan - When I Paint My Masterpiece

I sense a curtain call coming on...

The Truth Is Out There

2006-04-07T14:20:00.000-04:00

Gian Lorenzo Bernini - Truth Unveiled by Time (1645-52)

Time and again, when creationists try to "disprove" the validity of Darwinian evolution, they tend to fall back on arguments that are vague enough to not be dismissed outright. One of the classic "lines" parrotted by creationists, when the truthfulness of Genesis is called into question, is that "no one knows how God measures time", therefore cosmology and evolutionary theory don't invalidate the Biblical creation myth.

If nobody knows how God measures time, then it stands to reason that the mind of God, to some extent, must be unknowable to man. How is it, then, that believers in Christianity and interpreters of the Bible can claim such confidence in their explication of the will of God when something so elementary -- such as understanding how God marks the passage of time -- lies beyond the reach of human comprehension?

No matter how loosely one reads Genesis, the Biblical assertion that the world was created in six days simply cannot be reconciled with the fact that this planet is approximately 4.5 billion years old. To concede this fact by saying that "nobody knows what a year is to God" means that you cannot dismiss the possibility that every other "truth" contained in the Bible is either, at best, incomplete or, at worst, utterly false.

If this is the case, then the imperfection of scripture raises two possibilities: either the men who wrote the scriptures were inaccurately reporting the word of God, or God Himself is fallible. If the former is the case, then it suggests that there can be no factual, authoritative basis for Biblical notions such as creationism because the Bible itself represents an erroneous interpretation of the word of God. (Of course, this assumes that the mind of God can be known to mere mortals.) If the latter is closer to the truth, then how can a fallible being be celebrated as a supreme, omniscient deity? If the ramblings of a flawed and lesser deity are the basis for Christian scripture, then it follows that the Bible cannot be the ultimate source for natural or moralistic truths.

Such arrogant confidence in the "truth" of one religion versus science or even other religions is completely unfounded and wildly irrational. Scientists are painted as foolhardy elitists simply because the burden of proof falls on the side of reason. Scientific facts are earned, not created, through strict adherence to the scientific method and rational agnosticism. Science progresses and evolves, not due to blind faith or dogmatic adherence to doctrine, but through skepticism, exhaustive analysis, and a willingness to abandon disproven notions in the service of furthering humanity's understanding of "natural truths."

Meet the Bassamander

2006-04-06T01:21:00.000-04:00

Newfound Fossil Is Transitional between Fish and Landlubbers

Paleontolologists working in the Canadian Arctic have discovered the fossilized remains of an animal that elucidates one of evolution's most dramatic transformations: that which produced land-going vertebrates from fish. Dubbed Tiktaalik roseae, the large, predatory fish bears a number of features found in four-limbed creatures, a group known as tetrapods.

Neil Shubin of the University of Chicago and his colleagues found Tiktaalik on Ellesmere Island, some 600 miles from the North Pole, in deposits dating to 375 million years ago. Like all fish, Tiktaalik possesses fins and scales. But it also has a number of distinctly un-piscine characteristics, including a neck, a flat, crocodilelike skull, and robust ribs. As such Tiktaalik neatly fills the gap between previously known tetrapodlike fish such as Panderichthys, which lived some 385 million years ago, and the earliest tetrapods, Ichthyostega and Acanthostega, which lived about 365 million years ago. "Tiktaalik blurs the boundary between fish and land animals," Shubin observes. "This animal is both fish and tetrapod; we jokingly call it a 'fishapod.'"

Especially significant is the anatomy of Tiktaalik's pectoral fin, which contains the makings of a proper tetrapod arm. Thanks to the spectacular three-dimensional preservation of the bones--many of which were found still articulated--and the discovery of multiple specimens, the researchers were able to estimate the range of motion of the fin bones. "Most of the major joints of the fin are functional in this fish," Shubin notes. "The shoulder, elbow and even parts of the wrist are already there and working in ways similar to the earliest land-living animals." Tiktaalik, the scientists believe, used its fins to support its body on a substrate.

That doesn't mean Tiktaalik was primarily a fish out of water, however. Today Ellesmere Island is the icy dominion of the polar bear. But 375 million years ago, as part of a supercontinent that straddled the equator, it was a subtropical delta. Based on the sedimentological profile of the rock in which Tiktaalik was found, the team posits that it spent most of its time in shallow water. "This kind of shallow stream system seems to be the place where many features of land living animals first arose," comments team member Ted Daeschler of the Academy of Natural Sciences in Philadelphia. ("Tiktaalik" is the local Inuktikuk word for a large freshwater fish seen in the shallows.)

Tiktaalik is already drawing comparisons to the iconic early bird, Archaeopteryx, for its explanatory power as a transitional fossil. But it certainly leaves room for more discoveries, especially those bridging the new gap between it and the first tetrapods, along with those that contain clues to the origin of the tetrapod hindlimb. Two papers detailing the findings, as well as an accompanying commentary, appear today in Nature. --Kate Wong

Is There Anybody Out There?

2006-03-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

In order to examine the potential for a universal theory of biological evolution, we have to start by establishing two basic conditions: a.) The natural laws governing the universe are mostly constant throughout four-dimensional space-time and b.) Nature is ultimately lazy, meaning that natural processes will follow paths of least resistance whenever possible. These criteria limit the search for alien biology to "life as we know it", but that shouldn't be seen as an overly conservative or unimaginative goal. It simply makes more sense to begin an investigation into extraterrestrial life from familiar territory. After all, would we even be able to recognize life that isn't carbon-based? Or, would such an entity seem to us as nothing more than an incrediblly complex albeit lifeless chemical phenomenon?

Our best bet is to identify extraterrestrial biochemistry that would be recognizable to inhabitants of a carbon-based biosphere on a world with a rich nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere and an abundance of liquid water. Some imaginative thinkers like to speculate about the possibility of silicon-based life and/or a biosphere where liquid ammonia is the primary solvent instead of water, but these conditions are far less probable than carbon-based biochemical systems existing on a watery world. Water exists throughout the universe, even in interstellar space; it's a good bet that, under an acceptable range of conditions, water is abundant enough on extraterrestrial worlds to allow for chemical evolution to take place and eventually give rise to self-replicating molecules such as RNA.

It should be noted that organic chemistry doesn't need to evolve directly in the surface of a planet from a non-organic, carbon-rich solution or "molecular soup" in order to account for the presence of life. It's entirely possible that organic molecules can be delivered to a planet during the late "bombardment phase" of planetary formation. Aromatic hydrocarbons have been identified in proto-planetary nebulae, indicating that chemical evolution need not be restricted to stable planetary surfaces in order to give rise to complex organic compounds. Interstellar water, cometary slush, or water found in nebulae could provide the medium for organic reactions to take place. The abundance of ultraviolet radiation in nebulae and interstellar space would encourage evolving organic reactions by randomly splitting molecules that could then recombine and eventually produce complex organic compounds. Once these compounds have formed within comets or proto-planetary nebulae, they could then be transported to the surface of clement worlds by means of cometary or asteroidal bombardment.

Now that we have one example of how organic compounds could be created and delivered to a planet, some consideration should be given to what might constitute a biologically clement world. Judging by early conditions found on our own planet, worlds with free water and a nascent atmosphere composed primarily of carbon dioxide gas discharged by volcanic vents are likely to give rise to complex biochemical systems over time. The planet in question should be sufficiently massive so that it curves space-time strongly enough (i.e. "has enough gravitational force") for the planet to retain an atmosphere. Also, the planet needs to orbit its parent star somewhere within the "Goldilocks zone"; not too hot (Venus) and not too cold (Mars) for liquid surface water to exist. The mean distance from Earth to the Sun is approximately 9.3*10^6 miles [roughly one Astronomical Unit (AU)], so the planet's orbital radius might correspond to one AU, give or take a few tens of millions of miles. The orbital period, length of a "solar" day, and axial tilt are probably negotiable, however it should be noted that if the planet's axial tilt is too extreme, one side of the planet would be frozen in perpetual night and the other hemisphere would be relentlessly baked by the planet's parent star. So, a safe bet would be that the tilt of the planet should be significantly less than 90 degrees in order for complex, advanced life-forms to exist.

So what the hell does all this have to do with the idea of "evolutionary uniformitarianism"?

Plenty...

First of all, the processes that formed this planet are universal. The formation of the Sun was not an exceptional event; the accretion of the planetary disc into nine major panets, moons, asteroids, comets, etc. followed universal laws; and the chemical composition and physical properties of the solar system are not exceptional. Over 120 extrasolar planets have been identified, so we know that solar systems can and do form elsewhere in the galaxy. There are even indications that stellar planetary systems might very well be the rule and not the exception, thus the potential for Earthlike alien worlds could be rather high. The same fundamental forces that drove the formation of our solar system have been producing solar systems across the universe (thanks, John...) for billions of years.

If fundamental natural forces are producing organic compounds in nebulae throughout the galaxy, then it stands to reason that the fundamental building blocks of all life -- local and extraterrestrial -- might very well be universal. In this sense, life can be seen as an emergent phenomenon throughout the cosmos.

If the same organic chemistry that evolved over time to produce life and eventually intelligence on this planet is widespread throughout the universe, then the biochemical foundation of life is both universal and, by definition, subject to the same rules that govern the evolution of biochemistry on this planet. Granted, other planets will present conditions that differ to a greater or lesser degree than what we find on Earth, but it seems reasonable to assume that biochemistry on clement alien worlds will be relentlessly driven toward greater complexity through natural selection, mutation, etc.

There's abundant evidence for "evolutionary uniformitarianism" right here on Earth. Take, for example, the phenomenon of convergent evolution -- the same structures appear throughout the history of life among organisms that do not share immediate evolutionary ancestors. Sharks and ichthyosaurs share the same basic morphology (a vertical, lunate tail-fin, dorsal fins, "torpedo-shaped" bodies), yet one is a cartilaginous fish and the other is a long-extinct marine reptile. Many cetaceans such as dolphins, orcas, and other toothed whales share the same basic morphological characters seen in icthyosaurs and sharks, albeit with a few notable differences such as horizontal flukes versus vertical tails. That the same environmental pressures have produced such strikingly similar characters in cartilaginous fish, reptiles, and mammals indicates that the basic body plan shared by these three immediately unrelated organisms is the evolutionary ideal for large, active, marine predators.

Consider the multiple evolutionary lineages that led to the development of eyes throughout the animal kingdom. We share no immediate kinship with dragonflies or octopuses, yet we all have binary visual sensory organs that perform the same basic function. Each of these lineages evolved eyes independently of one another, yet even George W. Bush could identify an octopus’s eyes, if we gave him enough time. The point here is that, despite the fact that our eyes are basically unrelated to the eyes of a cephalopod, we can immediately recognize octopus eyes as visual organs that are functionally analogous to our own eyes.

Hemoglobin is yet another example of convergent evolution. Mammals and other animals use hemoglobin to transport oxygen through the bloodstream, yet we also find hemoglobin in legumes, proving that oxygen-transporting metalloproteins have evolved independently of animals. There are numerous examples of convergence in biological entities that seem to indicate a "universal ideal" with respect to evolving biological systems and structures suited for a given purpose.

Considering that conditions on other Earth-like worlds will be nominally similar to conditions found on our own planet and that the same organic chemicals found on Earth probably form the basis for life across the universe, it's not unreasonable to suppose that advanced alien life will not only be recognizable, but might even be eerily similar to life on our own planet due to the fundamental forces that drive biological evolution. These fundamental evolutionary forces -- the influence of environmental pressures and natural selection on complex biochemical systems -- are elegantly expressed through the phenomenon of convergent evolution.

Accidents Will Happen

2006-03-28T10:13:00.000-05:00

So, let me get this straight: Donald Wildmon's American Family Association is filing a complaint against FOX because NASCAR driver Martin Truex, Jr. said "shit" on the air.

Evidently, the seven-second delay didn't catch the little "shit" (you'll pardon the weak humor I slipped in there for you) and, as a result, the very moral foundation of these United States has been compromised.

...Or, some cocksucker at FOX screwed up and let a "shit" slip and now, these insane motherfuckers that control the Evangelical Christian right are totally pissed off. Hey, look at the bright side; it could have been a lot worse! At least those lazy cunts over at FOX didn't pan to the fucking bleachers and show some nasty redneck gal flashing her tits!

It's not easy to work the "heavy seven" into one sentence; I made it in two, so there you go. Perhaps it would have been easier to just say "shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits" and let it go at that, but I've always been told that words have more meaning when used in context, hence the profane summary of the issue at hand.

Anyway...

The AFA is filing an on-line petition against the FOX Broadcasting Company for "broadcasting the "s" word during a NASCAR race when millions of families were watching with their children."

Uh, maybe we should pause to unpack this "controversy" and see just how insidious it really is? What say you?

First of all, NASCAR is a sporting event (according to some). What makes sports fun to watch is that fact that they're spontaneous and competitive. Competition appeals not only to the intellectual side of the brain (plays, strategies, good coaching, etc.), but it also satisfies strong emotional needs. You think you get fired up when your team is winning? Think about how the guys on the field/court/track must be feeling! Top o' the fuckin' world!

Well, top o' the world if they're winning, that is...

Losing inspires equally strong emotional responses, ranging from feeling bummed out at work all the next day to going out and starting a soccer riot to going apeshit and burning a few dozen police cars after your team loses the big game. When you get right down to it, sports are civilized proxies for warfare that satisfy a deep, primal, tribal need for different groups of humans to get together and kill each other. Look at soccer if you don't believe me! There's a theory floating around that soccer/rugby first came into being on the battlefields of ancient Europe. Celtic warriors would celebrate a victory by kicking the severed heads of fallen enemy warriors around the battleground. Eventually, this delightful activity evolved into a game with rules, player positions, and so on. Substitute a ball for a human head and bingo! You got'cherself a sport.

Now, anybody who has ever watched a live sporting event knows that the players get a little upset when things aren't going their way. Even milquetoast, whitey-white golfers are known to lose it from time to time. This anger manifests in anything from a player throwing a little tantrum to a player (illegally) throwing piece of equipment to some pituitary homunculus taking a hockey stick and beating the holy shit out of his opponent.

Considering the emotional investment made by athletes during competition, it stands to reason that a frustrated jock can be expected to bark a "fuck!" or a "shit!" now and again. Expressing anger clears the head by allowing players to vent their frustration and disgust so they can get their minds back on the game. There's no way in hell that you've never heard profanities uttered during a live sports broadcast; the censors simply can't be expected monitor what every player is going to spontaneously say during the course of a game. Therefore, you have to expect that a few "shits", "fucks", and "damns" are going to sneak through and be unintentionally broadcast all across the nation. I'm generous enough to make allowances for post-game interviews, seeing as how the humiliation and frustration of defeat will be fresh in the minds of the players while they're walking off the field or cleaning up in the locker room. Of course, the seven-second delay should be adequate to deal with any unexpected outbursts, but one little word is going to sneak through now and again. That's sports; that's life.

Now, the "controversy" here is that some NASCAR guy said "shit" during a live broadcast and the censors didn't catch it. Well, the guy lost the race, so you know he's going to be a wee bit upset, even if NASCAR isn't really a sport. I'm sorry, but hitting the gas, shifting, and turning left is not a sport. It's definitely a competitive activity, but it's not a sport. Period. If driving a car is a sport -- something damn-near all of us can do -- then why isn't cooking a soufflé at a bake-off considered a sport?

Anyway, anyway...

I really don't see how this little episode warrants action on behalf of these hair-trigger moralists in the Evangelical fringe. Look, I could understand if "shit" was written into a script on a TV show and was broadcast without any warning. Some people are really offended by profanity. In some cases, I'm not at all offended by cussin', but that doesn't mean that I think you should be able to say whatever the hell you like on national TV. Freely expressing opinions, theories, beliefs, and emotions should never be compromised, but there are more civilized ways of speaking your mind than falling back on "shits" and "fucks" to emphasize your point. I'm offended by gratuitous usage of nudity and profanity, but not because I think it's "evil" or "perverse"; hell, I like cussin' and titty just as much as the next red-blooded American male. I just think it's cheap and sleazy to write profanity into a script or to show tits n' ass for no reason other than to pump up Nielsen ratings so the networks can satisfy the advertisers who pay to keep this artistically and culturally debased crap on the air.

I understand why religious folks would be offended at scripted profanity and nudity, but blowing a gasket over an accidental slip of the tongue is completely unreasonable. It was an accident, plain and simple. As cheap and sleazy as FOX may be, there's no way that they planned to let Truex say "shit" during a national broadcast. If these Evangelical lunatics are looking for an example of moral depravity, then where's their outrage at Fat Tony Scalia making a "Sicilian gesture" at a reporter as he was leaving church last Sunday? What about Bush's assertion that the Constitution was "just a goddamned piece of paper"?

Riddle me that, Mr. Wildmon.

Nature vs. Nurture

2006-03-23T10:17:00.000-05:00

Considering our current administration's seemingly limitless capacity for lying, cheating, and being whiny titty-babies, perhaps we might spare ourselves more grief in the future if we can figure out how to spot a baby conservative.

Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative.

At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.

The study from the Journal of Research Into Personality isn't going to make the UC Berkeley professor who published it any friends on the right. Similar conclusions a few years ago from another academic saw him excoriated on right-wing blogs, and even led to a Congressional investigation into his research funding.

But the new results are worth a look. In the 1960s Jack Block and his wife and fellow professor Jeanne Block (now deceased) began tracking more than 100 nursery school kids as part of a general study of personality. The kids' personalities were rated at the time by teachers and assistants who had known them for months. There's no reason to think political bias skewed the ratings — the investigators were not looking at political orientation back then. Even if they had been, it's unlikely that 3- and 4-year-olds would have had much idea about their political leanings.

A few decades later, Block followed up with more surveys, looking again at personality, and this time at politics, too. The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity.

The confident kids turned out liberal and were still hanging loose, turning into bright, non-conforming adults with wide interests. The girls were still outgoing, but the young men tended to turn a little introspective.

Block admits in his paper that liberal Berkeley is not representative of the whole country. But within his sample, he says, the results hold. He reasons that insecure kids look for the reassurance provided by tradition and authority, and find it in conservative politics. The more confident kids are eager to explore alternatives to the way things are, and find liberal politics more congenial.

In a society that values self-confidence and out-goingness, it's a mostly flattering picture for liberals. It also runs contrary to the American stereotype of wimpy liberals and strong conservatives.

Of course, if you're studying the psychology of politics, you shouldn't be surprised to get a political reaction. Similar work by John T. Jost of Stanford and colleagues in 2003 drew a political backlash. The researchers reviewed 44 years worth of studies into the psychology of conservatism, and concluded that people who are dogmatic, fearful, intolerant of ambiguity and uncertainty, and who crave order and structure are more likely to gravitate to conservatism. Critics branded it the "conservatives are crazy" study and accused the authors of a political bias.

Jost welcomed the new study, saying it lends support to his conclusions. But Jeff Greenberg, a social psychologist at the University of Arizona who was critical of Jost's study, was less impressed.

"I found it to be biased, shoddy work, poor science at best," he said of the Block study. He thinks insecure, defensive, rigid people can as easily gravitate to left-wing ideologies as right-wing ones. He suspects that in Communist China, those kinds of people would likely become fervid party members.

The results do raise some obvious questions. Are nursery school teachers in the conservative heartland cursed with classes filled with little proto-conservative whiners?

Or does an insecure little boy raised in Idaho or Alberta surrounded by conservatives turn instead to liberalism?

Or do the whiny kids grow up conservative along with the majority of their more confident peers, while only the kids with poor impulse control turn liberal?

Part of the answer is that personality is not the only factor that determines political leanings. For instance, there was a .27 correlation between being self-reliant in nursery school and being a liberal as an adult. Another way of saying it is that self-reliance predicts statistically about 7 per cent of the variance between kids who became liberal and those who became conservative. (If every self-reliant kid became a liberal and none became conservatives, it would predict 100 per cent of the variance). Seven per cent is fairly strong for social science, but it still leaves an awful lot of room for other influences, such as friends, family, education, personal experience and plain old intellect.

For conservatives whose feelings are still hurt, there is a more flattering way for them to look at the results. Even if they really did tend to be insecure complainers as kids, they might simply have recognized that the world is a scary, unfair place.

Their grown-up conclusion that the safest thing is to stick to tradition could well be the right one. As for their "rigidity," maybe that's just moral certainty.

The grown-up liberal men, on the other hand, with their introspection and recognition of complexity in the world, could be seen as self-indulgent and ineffectual.

Whether anyone's feelings are hurt or not, the work suggests that personality and emotions play a bigger role in our political leanings than we think. All of us, liberal or conservative, feel as though we've reached our political opinions by carefully weighing the evidence and exercising our best judgment. But it could be that all of that careful reasoning is just after-the-fact self-justification. What if personality forms our political outlook, with reason coming along behind, rationalizing after the fact?

It could be that whom we vote for has less to do with our judgments about tax policy or free trade or health care, and more with the personalities we've been stuck with since we were kids.

Somehow, I think I always knew that GOPers were whiny little Cartmans when they were kids. Still, I think it's safe to say that the results of this study fall in the "too good to be true" category; after all, the study took place in Berkeley, California. Berkeley has a rather high percentage of progressives versus conservatives, so the overall political and social beliefs of the sample pool could very well have skewed the results.

Perhaps if the researchers had performed the same study in an area where the ratio of progressives to conservatives seen in Berkeley was inverted, their conclusions would seem less biased. Indianapolis would be a great choice, considering that Indy seems to be bursting at the seams with dyed-in-the-wool conservatives. If the study had been performed in more than one sample community, the interpretation of the data generated over the course of the project would have been more accurate and convincing.

Still, despite the experiment's inherent flaws, I must admit that I think they're on to something. C'mon, just take a good look at guys like Karl Rove and Gary Bauer and tell me that they didn't go whining to teacher when they got picked on during recess, lunch, and gym.

Solid Gold Fillings

2006-03-16T11:45:00.000-05:00

Uh, it looks as if I've been a bit lax regarding the ol' blog, so here's some filler to tide over the faithful.

All three of you.

Top Twenty of the Week

01.) Teenage Fanclub - "Escher"
02.) Echobelly - "Car Fiction"
03.) The Decemberists - "The Engine Driver"
04.) Cocteau Twins - "Half-Gifts"
05.) Sam & Dave - "Hold On! I'm Coming"
06.) Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - "Helpless"
07.) The Bluetones - "Things Change"
08.) Harry Belafonte - "Jump in the Line"
09.) Led Zeppelin - "White Summer/Black Mountain Side"
10.) Komeda - "Flabbergast"
11.) Frank Black - "Headache"
12.) Gladys Knight & the Pips - "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"
13.) Living Colour - "Type"
14.) Verve - "Life's an Ocean"
15.) Pink Floyd - "Us and Them"
16.) The Police - "When the World Is Running Down, You Make the Best of What's Still Around"
17.) John Lennon - "Nobody Told Me"
18.) Pavement - "Box Elder"
19.) The Smiths - "Ask"
20.) The Kinks - "When I See That Girl of Mine"

I swear, I'll post something substantive sometime soon. Really, I will.

Bird Dream of the Olympus Mons

2006-03-13T14:00:00.000-05:00

Google the Red Planet.

Damien Lives

2006-03-13T12:53:00.000-05:00

Opie Satan Warbucks Bush

Pierce Bush -- son of Neil "S&L Scandal" Bush and nephew of our illustrious Chimperor -- chimed in on his uncle's failed DPW ~~scam~~ deal this morning on the Today Show.

Quoth the Hellspawn: "I'm gonna go hit the bed, you know what I'm sayin' Campbell?"

Aw, hellz yeah, dawg! Pierce a mu'fuggin' pimp, yo!

Lookit, Pierce: If you're so interested in lending a hand to your dipshit uncle, then march your little lily-white, richie-rich, prep-school ass down to your local Army recruitment center and sign up to serve your country instead of making an ass of yourself on national television.

This kid totally destroys the myth that "it" (good looks, brains, having a soul, and so on) skips a generation.

You watch: This idiot is going to run for the presidency someday. I guarantee it.

Abandon Ship!

2006-03-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

Man, oh man...

What the hell happened to all of that "political capital" we heard so much about? You didn't spend it already, did you George?!

Nearly four out of five Americans, including 70 percent of Republicans, believe civil war will break out in Iraq — the bloody hot spot upon which Bush has staked his presidency. Nearly 70 percent of people say the U.S. is on the wrong track, a 6-point jump since February.

The poll suggests that most Americans wonder whether Bush is up to the job. The survey, conducted Monday through Wednesday of 1,000 people, found that just 37 percent approve of his overall performance. That is the lowest of his presidency.

Bush's job approval among Republicans plummeted from 82 percent in February to 74 percent, a dangerous sign in a midterm election year when parties rely on enthusiasm from their most loyal voters. The biggest losses were among white males.

On issues, Bush's approval rating declined from 39 percent to 36 percent for his handling of domestic affairs and from 47 percent to 43 percent on foreign policy and terrorism. His approval ratings for dealing with the economy and Iraq held steady, but still hovered around 40 percent.

Personally, far fewer Americans consider Bush likable, honest, strong and dependable than they did just after his re-election campaign.

By comparison, Presidents Clinton and Reagan had public approval in the mid 60s at this stage of their second terms in office, while Eisenhower was close to 60 percent, according to Gallup polls. Nixon, who was increasingly tangled up in the Watergate scandal, was in the high 20s in early 1974.

The AP-Ipsos poll, which has a margin of error of 3 percentage points, gives Republicans reason to worry that they may inherit Bush's political woes. Two-thirds of the public disapproves of how the GOP-led Congress is handling its job and a surprising 53 percent of Republicans give Congress poor marks.

"Obviously, it's the winter of our discontent," said Rep. Tom Cole (news, bio, voting record), R-Okla.

By a 47-36 margin, people favor Democrats over Republicans when they are asked who should control Congress.

Bowing to ferocious opposition in Congress, a Dubai-owned company on Thursday abandoned its quest to take over operations at several U.S. ports. Bush had pledged to veto any attempt to block the transaction, pitting him against Republicans in Congress and most voters.

All this has Republican voters like Walter Wright of Fairfax Station, Va., worried for their party.

"We've gotten so carried away I wouldn't be surprised to see the Democrats take it because of discontent," he said. "People vote for change and hope for the best."

So much for Bush's "mandate".

...And no, I'm not talking about Jeff Gannon.

Alien Earthlings

2006-03-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

Kiwa hirsuta

"There are fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." -- Gandalf the Grey

'Furry lobster' found in Pacific

Marine biologists have discovered a crustacean in the South Pacific that resembles a lobster or crab covered in what looks like silky fur.

Kiwa hirsuta is so distinct from other species that scientists have created a new taxonomic family for it.

A US-led team found the animal last year in waters 2,300m (7,540ft) deep at a site 1,500km (900 miles) south of Easter Island, an expert has claimed.

Details appear in the journal of Paris' National Museum of Natural History.

The animal is white and 15cm (5.9 ins) long, according to Michel Segonzac of the French Research Institute for Exploitation of the Sea (Ifremer).

In what he has described as a "surprising characteristic", the animal's pincers are covered with sinuous, hair-like strands. It seems to reside around some Pacific deep sea hydrothermal vents, which spew out fluids that are toxic to many animals.

Dr Segonzac told the BBC News website that the "hairy" pincers contained lots of filamentous bacteria.

Some scientists think the bacteria detoxify poisonous minerals from the water, allowing K. hirsuta to survive around the vents.

Alternatively, the animal may actually feed on the bacteria that live in the hair-like strands.

But observations of its behaviour suggest it may be a general carnivore. Dr Segonzac said he and his colleagues saw the animal fighting with two crabs over a piece of shrimp.

K. hirsuta is blind; the researchers found it had only "the vestige of a membrane" in place of eyes, the Ifremer researcher said.

The researchers said that while legions of new ocean species are discovered each year, it is quite rare to find one that merits a new family.

The family was named Kiwaida, from Kiwa, the goddess of crustaceans in Polynesian mythology.

The diving expedition was organized by Robert Vrijenhoek of the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute in California.

Life on this planet seems to have an infinite capacity for novelty and variety. If you were to see a furry lobster in a science fiction movie, you wouldn't think twice about it, but seeing one in the news...?! It's almost too ridiculous to accept as a real creature, but there it is, in all its hirsute glory: the Farrah Fawcett of the crustacean set.

"Fictional biology" is bound by our expectations for what constitutes a sufficiently "alien" creature, thus the fantastic animals we see in movies like "Star Wars" and "Lord of the Rings" always have a somewhat ridiculous air about them. After all, they were designed by human beings who, more often than not, don't have a background in or a rigorous understanding of the life sciences. Fictional creatures are typically either chimeras created by crossing familiar animals (elephants, dinosaurs, lizards, etc.) or, if the creatures in question are alien "people", they're designed as exotic reinterpretations of the human form. In order to distinguish these beings from morphologically "boring" schlubs like you and me, these "alien humans" are augmented with biologically improbable nonsense like big, honkin' horns; extra limbs; scales; wings; various cranial adornments (a.k.a. the "Star Trek" nose); an extra set of eyes; ridiculously small or ludicrously huge mouths; big, nasty, pointy teeth; and so on.

Despite all the gaudy embellishments and slaph-dash biological re-engineering imagined by fantasy and science fiction artists, no fictional animal has ever approached the "crazy logic" of creatures shaped by the forces of evolution right here on Earth. So, how do you build a better alien? Let's look to biology for some answers.

The forces that enable life to be established and flourish are fundamental. One of the guiding principles of astrobiology is to assume that Earth is not exceptional and that other Earth-like planets must be subject to the same geological, chemical, physical, and biological laws. The environmental conditions present on our planet when life (specifically, self-replicating RNA molecules) first appeared around 4.0 billion years ago can be regarded as typical for all Earth-like planets, thus it stands to reason that the evolutionary process on other candidate worlds must be subject to the same basic factors that we find here on Earth. Water, sunlight, and carbon are present in sufficient proportions to allow organic reactions to take place; environmental conditions (temperature, atmospheric composition and density, basic geochemical conditions, gravitational conditions, tectonism) are similar to conditions found on our planet; life-forms analogous to our photosynthetic plants must have appeared before organisms that fuel their metabolic processes via oxygen respiration; and so on. Eventually, evolution and sheer luck (not too many major extinctions, asteroid collisions, ice ages, etc.) could produce recognizably advanced life forms capable of developing technologies, religions, cultures, sciences, political systems, languages, cuisine, art, sports, and fictional universes populated with improbable beings.

Nature is ultimately lazy -- life-forms won't evolve organs, structures, behaviors, or reproductive strategies that aren't essential. Animals as varied as peacocks, stegosaurs, mandrills, anteaters, frilled lizards, sauropods, flying snakes, giraffes, hammerhead sharks, pterosaurs, angelfish, pangolins, sea slugs, dimetrodons, and furry lobsters have evolved in accordance with the "nature is lazy" principle. These creatures display unique and sometimes startling adaptations, but their evolutionary heritage and genetic kinship with more "mundane" creatures is evident in their basic morphology. These creatures have been forged by the evolutionary process and are naturally "customized" to succeed on this planet.

If we are to assume that Earth is not an exceptional life-bearing planet, then it follows that the basic forces driving biological evolution could very well be universal. Of course, each life-bearing planet would have their own unique conditions that would contribute to the evolutionary process, but it is reasonable to hypothesize that some degree of "evolutionary uniformitarianism" exists across the universe.

So, is it not a valid supposition to assume that life on other planets would not only be recognizable, but might even appear somewhat mundane to Earthling observers? Considering that life always tries to follow the path of least resistance, it's not unreasonable to assume that our alien neighbors might be hauntingly familiar to Earthling eyes.

Personally, I can't wait to meet 'em. Of course, they'll probably be little more than microscopic, unicellular doo-dads, but hey -- you gotta start somewhere.

The Sound of Leadership

2006-03-07T21:06:00.000-05:00

Listen.

Dyllis Philler

2006-03-07T09:20:00.000-05:00

Nothing to report and too much too discuss, so it's top ten time. Gotta keep this damned blog alive somehow, so why not stoke it with filler? Ten plus ten plus ten more, into the breech, over the hills, and far away.

Top Thirty of the Week ~or~ A Lazy Shade of Tuesday

01.) Peter, Paul and Mary - "Too Much of Nothing"
02.) The Spinners - "I'll Be Around"
03.) The Pixies - "Gouge Away"
04.) The Flamingos - "I Only Have Eyes for You"
05.) Dolly Parton - "Jolene"
06.) The Beatles - "Slow Down"
07.) The Meters - "Cissy Strut"
08.) Led Zeppelin - "Gallows Pole"
09.) The White Stripes - "Hello Operator"
10.) The Fugees - "Killing Me Softly"
11.) The Black Keys - "The Breaks"
12.) The Jesus and Mary Chain - "Far Gone and Out"
13.) Pink Floyd - "Lucifer Sam"
14.) The Association - "Never My Love"
15.) The Kinks - "Milk Cow Blues"
16.) The Bar-Kays - "Soulfinger"
17.) Jimmie Rodgers - "Blue Yodel No. 1 (T for Texas)"
18.) Grandpaboy - "Silent Film Star"
19.) The Pogues - "The Broad Majestic Shannon"
20.) Hank Williams - "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)"
21.) Maxwell - "Ascension (Don't Ever Wonder)"
22.) Loretta Lynn - "Portland Oregon"
23.) Buck Owens and His Buckaroos - "Rollin' in My Sweet Baby's Arms"
24.) The Byrds - "Eight Miles High"
25.) Faces - "You Can Make Me Dance, Sing or Anything"
26.) Buffalo Springfield - "For What It's Worth"
27.) PJ Harvey - "Yuri G"
28.) Prince and the Revolution - "Take Me With U"
29.) James Brown - "Give It Up or Turnit a Loose"
30.) The Rolling Stones - "Tumbling Dice"

Under and out.

Homeland Insecurity

2006-03-06T12:56:00.000-05:00

The only thing this ridiculous administration has accomplished, outside of laying the groundwork for a corporatist/crypto-fascist market-state, is the shameless enshrinement of mediocrity and the endless celebration of wanton incompetence. Sure, one could make the point that our narcissistic, incurious society has been doing the same for years, but now we're not just giving hacks, toilers, and imbeciles record contracts or movie deals; we're placing them in positions of power at the very top of the federal government.

Need proof?

From Yahoo! News:

Guards Fault Homeland Security Protection

By LARRY MARGASAK, Associated Press Writer Mon Mar 6, 9:10 AM ET

WASHINGTON - The agency entrusted with protecting the U.S. homeland is having difficulty safeguarding its own headquarters, say private security guards at the complex.

The guards have taken their concerns to Congress, describing inadequate training, failed security tests and slow or confused reactions to bomb and biological threats.

For instance, when an envelope with suspicious powder was opened last fall at Homeland Security Department headquarters, guards said they watched in amazement as superiors carried it by the office of Secretary Michael Chertoff, took it outside and then shook it outside Chertoff's window without evacuating people nearby.

The scare, caused by white powder that proved to be harmless, "stands as one glaring example" of the agency's security problems, said Derrick Daniels, one of the first guards to respond to the incident.

"I had never previously been given training ... describing how to respond to a possible chemical attack," Daniels told The Associated Press. "I wouldn't feel safe nowhere on this compound as an officer."

I don't feel safe nowhere, neither, Mr. Daniels. Hell, we ain't go nobody what got any brains a-guardin' the Office of Homeland Security!

The brutal irony of this situation is sweet enough to give you cavities and strong enough to knock a buzzard off a shit-wagon from 50 paces.

What's even more troubling than Daniels' unbelievably stupid handling of what could have been anthrax is the fact that he previously worked for Wackenhut Services Inc. -- the Coca Cola of the mercenary biz. WSI was founded back in the late '50s by a former FBI agent and "Tailgunner" Joe wannabe named George Wackenhut.

Daniels was employed until last fall by Wackenhut Services Inc., the private security firm that guards Homeland's headquarters in a residential area of Washington. The company has been criticized previously for its work at nuclear facilities and transporting nuclear weapons.

Homeland Security officials say they have little control over Wackenhut's training of guards but plan to improve that with a new contract. The company defends its performance, saying the suspicious powder incident was overblown because the mail had already been irradiated.

Two senators who fielded complaints from several Wackenhut employees are asking Homeland's internal watchdog, the inspector general, to investigate.

"If the allegations brought forward by the whistleblowers are correct, they represent both a security threat and a waste of taxpayer dollars," Democratic Sens. Byron Dorgan of North Dakota and Ron Wyden of Oregon wrote. "It would be ironic, to say the least, if DHS were unable to secure its own headquarters."

Daniels left Wackenhut and now works security for another company at another federal building. He is among 14 current and former Wackenhut employees — mostly guards — who were interviewed by The Associated Press or submitted written statements to Congress that were obtained by AP.

The pro-privatization/anti-government right-wing corporatist ideology argues that public institutions (schools, police forces, fire departments, etc.) need to be privatized so that market pressures can be brought to bear on these institutions in order to increase their efficiency and quality of service. Sounds good on paper, but in practice...? Well, let's just say that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

A litany of problems were listed by the guards, whose pay ranges from $15.60 to $23 an hour based on their position and level of security clearance. Among their examples of lax security:

_They have no training in responding to attacks with weapons of mass destruction;

_Chemical-sniffing dogs have been replaced with ineffective equipment that falsely indicates the presence of explosives.

_Vehicle entrances to Homeland Security's complex are lightly guarded;

_Guards with radios have trouble hearing each other, or have no radios, no batons and no pepper spray, leaving them with few options beyond lethal force with their handguns.

Wackenhut President Dave Foley disputed the allegations, saying officers have a minimum of one year's security experience, proper security clearances and training in vehicle screening, identification of personnel, handling of suspicious items and emergency response.

"In short, we believe our security personnel have been properly trained, have responded correctly to the various incidents that have occurred ... and that this facility is secure," he said. He declined, however, to address any of the current or former employees who have become whistleblowers.

Of course, if US government employees were charged with providing security, they could be held accountable by the public for failing in their duties. How could a privatized security firm hold their employees accountable in a meaningful way? Dock their Christmas bonuses? Fire 'em? Getting shit-canned stinks, but it doesn't hold a candle to standing trial before the American public.

So, does privatization of public services increase efficiency and quality of service?

Well...

Wackenhut is no stranger to criticism.

Over the last two years, the Energy Department inspector general concluded that Wackenhut guards had thwarted simulated terrorist attacks at a nuclear lab only after they were tipped off to the test; and that guards also had improperly handled the transport of nuclear and conventional weapons.

Homeland Security is based at a gated, former Navy campus in a college neighborhood — several miles from the heavily trafficked streets that house the FBI, Capitol, Treasury Department and White House.

Homeland Security spokesman Brian Doyle said Wackenhut guards are still operating under a contract signed with the Navy, and the agency has little control over their training. A soon-to-be-implemented replacement contract will impose new requirements on security guards, he said.

Daniels, the former guard who responded to the white powder incident, said the area where the powder was found wasn't evacuated for more than an hour. Available biohazard face shields went unused.

Doyle said the concerns were overblown because all mail going to the Homeland Security complex is irradiated to kill anthrax. He said "the incident was resolved before anything was moved."

Daniels said that after the envelope was taken outside, and the order finally given to evacuate the potentially infected area, employees had already gone to lunch and had to be rounded up and quarantined.

Former guard Bryan Adams recognized his inadequate training one day last August, when an employee reported a suspicious bag in the parking lot.

"I didn't have a clue about what to do," he said.

Adams said he closed the vehicle checkpoint with a cone, walked over to the bag and called superiors. Nobody cordoned off the area. Eventually, someone called a federal bomb squad, which arrived more than an hour after the discovery.

"If the bag had, in fact, contained the explosive device that was anticipated, the bomb could have detonated several times over in the hour that the bag sat there," Adams said.

The bag, it turned out, contained gym clothes.

Doyle, the Homeland spokesman, responded to several allegations raised by the guards. He said dogs were replaced because, "If you overuse them, their effectiveness drops." The detection equipment that substitutes for the dogs is a better method for detecting explosives, he said.

Guards who used the equipment said it was no match for the reliability of the dogs.

The Associated Press videotaped two vehicle entrances at Homeland headquarters with light security.

One is guarded only during morning and evening rush hours. Movable metal barriers and an unmanned security vehicle only partially blocked the driveway, leaving enough room for a small car or motorcycle to drive through.

Another entrance was guarded with a manned vehicle with two guards, but no other barriers.

Doyle said the vehicle entrances were adequate because in all cases, a 10-foot fence topped with barbed wire separates vehicles from all buildings.

Some guards who continue to work at Homeland, who would speak only on condition of anonymity because of fear of losing their jobs, said they knew of two instances in which individuals without identification got into the sensitive complex.

Another described how guards flunked a test by the
Secret Service, which sent vehicles into the compound with dummy government identification tags hanging from inside mirrors. Guards cleared such vehicles through on two occasions, this guard said, and one officer even copied down the false information without realizing it was supposed to match information on the employee's government badge.

Doyle, the agency spokesman, said such tests are conducted routinely and "I can assure you that if people fail the test they are let go."

Marixa Farrar, a former guard, said two guards always should have been stationed inside the main building where Chertoff had his office, but she often was on duty alone.

One day last fall a fire alarm rang. As employees walked by Farrar, they asked if this was a fire or a test.

"There were no radios, so I couldn't figure out if it was a serious alarm," she said.

There was no fire.

Would you want your local, privatized (i.e. "for-profit") fire or police department to be this incompetent? No, you wouldn't. This privatization nonsense doesn't have a damn thing to do with improving efficiency or quality of service. It's just another sleazy money-making scheme cooked up by a bunch of avaricious Republican shysters and former CEOs-turned-politicians.

Privatization is snake oil; nothing more. You're being suckered, America.

Where's Leni Riefenstahl When They Need Her?

2006-03-03T17:04:00.000-05:00

The following article was taken from Hughes for America. He pretty much hits the nail on the head regarding the right-wing nonsense about how Hollywood is out of touch with middle America.

Read:

Movies and Middle America

It's a fairly common right-wing claim: Hollywood is out of touch with Middle America. Hosts and pundits typically trot it out each awards season, fueling the Republican base's notion of a liberal elite that, in their eyes, doesn't care about the average American.

People like movie critic and Republican radio personality Michael Medved, for instance, have made a nice career out of using their highly funded, big-city-housed positions to speak for the common man. Their thinly veiled opinions mask homophobia, anti-Semitism and jealousy.

Misguided in their notion of how Hollywood actually works and what art actually is, they appeal to the lowest common denominator to great success. They champion a return to a style of art that, to say the least, has roots in movements they'd rather you not know about. What's more, they're just wrong.

The thesis of last night's discussion on "Scarborough Country" can be found in a quote from guest host Michael Smerconish. The host, when asked what he meant when he discussed the "disastrous year for Tinseltown," said, "I mean that movies that are a bunch of losers that nobody goes to see are about to win all the awards." He later added, "Michael, these are movies that I don't even want arriving at my house in the sealed Netflix envelope, you know, lest the postman knows I'd be watching them, for goodness sakes."

This line of thinking can be found in this exchange between Smerconish and Time's Belinda Luscombe, who perfectly rebuts the host's right-wing talking points:

SMERCONISH: Hey, Belinda, let me get you in on the action here and ask you a question. What about my movies? You know, what about "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"? What about "Wedding Crashers"? What about some of the greats like "Caddyshack," and "Animal House," and "Slapshot"? Why are they never represented?

LUSCOMBE: Oh, they're represented, all right. What you're asking here basically is: Why don't sort of food critics go and eat at McDonald's? There's different types of food for different people.

You know, what is it about the Academy that is surprising you here? Even the word Academy - these are filmmakers. They're at the top of their game. They want to honor the films that are good films.

Look, I like the movies Smerconish mentions. I pay to see them. I have a good time. I laugh my ass off. But I know their place. So does Luscombe. The Academy Awards, accordingly, aren't the place for Best Picture That Appealed to the Widest Audience and Starred Will Ferrell and/or Vince Vaughn. They're the place for Best Picture. The year's best movie, as chosen by filmmakers, not Joe Sixpack. It seems what Smerconish is suggesting is that the Nobel Prize should go to the next bozo that lights his farts on fire.

But Medved, another "Scarborough Country" guest Thursday, wasn't far behind Smerconish, arguing "there were populist films that were critically acclaimed that could easily have been nominated." Films like "Walk the Line" and "Cinderella Man," a movie Medved said was "pro-faith, pro-family and that connected with mainstream Americans in a way that the nominated films don't." There, in that statement, is the hypocrisy inherent in the right-wing argument. Critically acclaimed films that offer viewpoints similar to Medved's: Good. Critically acclaimed films that offer viewpoints different from Medved's: Bad. The only agenda he wants Hollywood to pursue, therefore, is his. And I thought we put the Hays Code behind us a long time ago.

The mistake people like Smerconish and Medved make is blaming select movies - the critical successes with themes running counter to their conservative mindset - for Hollywood's dwindling box-office results. In other words, they're blaming the working parts of the machine for a failure caused by an overabundance of faulty parts. It's a classic right-wing shell game.

People aren't going to the movies because of films like "Brokeback Mountain," "Syriana," "Good Night, and Good Luck. " and "Capote". They're not going because the rest of the movies - from big-budget blockbusters to comedies to thrillers - are flat-out terrible. They're bland, they lack good stories, they're nothing more than excuses to try the latest special effects.

Looking past the Stalinist and Nazi heritage at the base of the right-wing argument, you'll find a more modern conceit: The average is better than the special. That notion is the converse, of course, of the anti-elitist argument the right loves to use. And it can be found everywhere, from reality television to the music industry to the White House.

As I wrote before, "In the last 25 years, America has drifted from a nation of experts to a nation of amateurs. We've gone from the best and the brightest to the so-so and the mediocre. We've traded our admiration for intelligence for a love of the lowest common denominator. And it should stop as soon as possible, or else our once-great nation's slide toward irrelevance will proceed unabated."

I don't watch the Food Network to see people like me cooking. I watch to see experts making great food. I don't listen to music to hear what an "American Idol" winner has to offer. I listen to hear good acts making good music, now a rarity. I don't watch television to see what I could see if I walked into the apartments across the street. I watch to see talented actors acting in well-written, thought-provoking shows.

But those are the more trivial examples of this maddening trend. The best example resides in the White House. Supporters of President Bush argue that he's a man of the people, that he says what he means and means what he says, that they'd like to have a beer with him. Nevermind the fact that Bush came from a privileged background, that what he says borders on incoherent and that he's a dry drunk who probably shouldn't be within arm's length of a bottle of booze.

I find it distressing that, during recent presidential campaigns, more emphasis has been placed on pancake flipping, hunting and football throwing than on whether or not the candidate has a brain in his head. Sure, some people like that Bush is just like them, but I don't. I'd prefer someone who knows how to respond to a disaster or who has more than an elementary knowledge of foreign policy. The president is our leader. Not our wingman.

That desire to champion the average is exactly what's wrong with America. And it's what's wrong with the right-wing critique of Hollywood as well. At a time when we should be demanding more, some are demanding less. Be it movies or be it politics. And the less we demand of others - and ourselves - the more we sink into the quicksand.

"Why doesn't Hollywood get the message?" Smerconish said Thursday. It would make sense to ask him the same question.

Scene Not Herd

2006-03-02T09:36:00.000-05:00

In accordance with the death of February (my calendar proxy for relationships: cold and short) and the upcoming vernal equinox, my musical diet has begin the annual shift from winter music (ambient; metal; sad-sack, lonely-hearts, drinking classics) to spring-tastic goodness (shoegaze, the Beatles, British Invaders, pop). So, to mark the occasion, I present my Top Ten of the Week: Sprink Editchion.

01.) The Boo Radleys - "Does This Hurt?"
02.) My Bloody Valentine - "Off Your Face"
03.) Lush - "De-Luxe"
04.) Cocteau Twins - "Carolyn's Fingers"
05.) Medicine - "Fried Awake"
06.) Kitchens of Distinction - "What Happens Now?"
07.) Curve - "No Escape from Heaven"
08.) Ride - "Seagull"
09.) Chapterhouse - "Pearl"
10.) Spiritualized - "Run"

Damn, I miss shoegaze...

It's been nigh on fifteen years since the salad days of the early '90s shoegaze boom and I'm still waiting for something better to come along. Y'all can keep your homely, rattrap, indie-rock nonsense; I'll take big, beautiful, shimmering, guitar-pop supernovae, thanks. You can have all the Chan Marshalls and all the Steven Malkmuses in the world; just give me Liz Fraser and Kevin Shields and I'm a happy camper.

We're still waiting, Mr. Shields...

Into the Void

2006-02-28T10:25:00.000-05:00

It appears that the sweetheart port-security deal cut between the Bush administration and the UAE-owned Dubai Ports World is being pursued to facilitate the shipment of US materiel to the UAE, perhaps in preparation for US military action against Iran.

Two of the ports that will be controlled by DPW include Beaumont and Corpus Christi. These ports are major shipping terminals for the US Army.

According to Lloyd's List International:

P&O Ports [recently purchased by DPW] has a 50% stake in the Port Newark Container Terminal within the Port of New York and New Jersey that handles around 700,000 teu a year, as well as port interests in Baltimore, Philadelphia, Miami and New Orleans.

It has just renewed a contract with the United States Surface Deployment and Distribution Command to provide stevedoring of military equipment at the Texan ports of Beaumont and Corpus Christi through 2010.

Accorting to Army Logistician:

Few Americans are aware of the volume of cargo that is shipped from ports located along the U.S. Gulf Coast from Brownsville, Texas, to Cape Sable, Florida. Some of these ports serve as major Department of Defense transportation nodes for overseas deployment of Army cargo. Two of these nodes are strategic ports located in Texas--the Port of Beaumont and the Port of Corpus Christi. (Designation as a strategic port means that the port management will give priority to military cargo during a contingency.) Almost 40 percent of the Army cargo deployed in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom flows through these two ports.

Although both the Port of Beaumont and the Port of Corpus Christi are container capable, petroleum and break-bulk products constitute most of the cargo shipped from those locations. The Port of Beaumont is home to one of the Military Surface Deployment and Distribution Command's (SDDC's) port-handling battalions, the 842d Transportation Battalion.

A "Hands On" Job

Part of the 597th Transportation Group in Sunny Point, North Carolina, the 842d Transportation Battalion is a relatively small activity composed of 7 military, 24 civilian, and 2 contractor personnel. The 842d acts as the single port manager for all Gulf Coast port military missions and routinely oversees missions in Pensacola, Florida; Mobile, Alabama; Gulfport, Mississippi; Lake Charles, Louisiana; and Houston, Texas. However, most of the action is centered in Beaumont and Corpus Christi.

This DWP deal lays the groundwork for the mobilization of materiel in advance of US military combat operations to be based in the UAE. It seems all too clear that we're witnessing the early stages of an eventual war against Iran.

Another damned war, huh?

Do you feel a draft, America?

Ein Volk, ein Reich, eine sexuelle Lagebestimmung.

2006-02-25T10:28:00.000-05:00

The American Taliban's War on Sexuality has begun in earnest. South Dakota is a few drams of ink away from banning abortion (even in cases involving incest and rape). This is the first shot in the campaign to kill Roe v. Wade. Considering that the Supreme Court is stacked with fundamentalist "activist" judges, it's no longer a question of whether or not Roe will be overturned, but when SCOTUS will outlaw aborton.

As if that's not medieval enough, now these fundamentalist troglodyte fucks want to ban gays and lesbians from adopting children. Yeah, wouldn't want the multitudes of orphaned kids created by a federal ban on abortion growing up to be considerate, intelligent, conscientious, tolerant, progressive Americans. Better to have these kids be raised by intolerant, ignorant, superstitious, fearful, fundamentalist swine, right?

I hope you fundamentalist Nazi bastards are prepared to assume full responsibility for all these unwanted children, because the burden of their upbringing and welfare is now yours and yours alone. You morons wanted these kids to be born, so it's only fair that you guys get to fucking raise 'em!

Fuck you, fuck your church, fuck your leaders, and fuck your hideous, hateful perversion of Christianity. Why don't you theocrat assholes do the rest of us a favor and just Rapture the fuck out of here?

Pussy Control

2006-02-23T10:43:00.000-05:00

"Doesn't it strike you as mildly ironic that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?" -- George Carlin

Staunch pro-lifer and fried food enthusiast Brock L. Greenfield weighs in on the abortion issue.

South Dakota State Senator, director of the SD Right to Life chapter, and convenience store attendant Brock L. Greenfield met with his fellow state legislators yesterday to vote on a bill that would enforce a statewide ban nearly all abortions. The bill is one stroke of a pen away from being signed into law by Republican Gov. Mike Rounds, a staunch anti-abortionist.

According to the New York Times:

Some opponents of abortion rights celebrated what they called a bold and brave move and lauded South Dakota for taking the lead in what they said they hoped would become a series of states to challenge Roe, the 1973 decision that made abortion legal.

The shifting makeup of the United States Supreme Court, the opponents said, offered a crucial opportunity, the first since at least 1992.

"It is a calculated risk, to be sure, but I believe it is a fight worth fighting," State Senator Brock L. Greenfield, a Clark Republican who is also director of the South Dakota Right to Life, told his colleagues in a hushed, packed chamber here.After more than an hour of fierce and emotional debate, the senators rejected pleas to add exceptions for incest or rape or for the health of the pregnant woman and instead voted, 23 to 12, to outlaw all abortions, except those to save the woman's life.

You know what? I'll be more than happy to hear what Sen. Greenfield has to say about abortion just as soon as he chops off his balls and trades away his little piggly-wiggly dick for a uterus and a set of ovaries. Let this fat son of a bitch carry and deliver a litter of chillern into this world before he decides to sound off on a woman's right to choose. Let him spend some quality time as a working-class Hausfrau broodmare, constantly waiting hand and foot on his dumbfuck Promise Keeper husband and their dozen-or-so filthy, squealing offspring, and I might consider what this ignorant fatbody has to say about women's rights. Until then, Brocka the Hutt and the rest of these fundamentalist "Chrisatian" bastards can go fuck themselves.

Haven't we had enough of the God damned Merkin Taliban trying to legislate how normal people should live their lives? I'm so sick of these ignorant assholes I can't see straight...

Dire Straits

2006-02-22T10:44:00.000-05:00

Despite the politically tone-deaf and wildly unpopular plan by the Bush administration to allow Dubai Ports World to assume operational duties for six major US ports, the Chimperor is standing his ground. He is threatening to exercise his veto power for the first time in six years if Congress attempts to block the DPW deal.

Why is this sweetheart deal with a UAE-controlled company so important to this administration? Perhaps a quick glance at a map of the Persian Gulf will provide an answer.

The DPW deal is being pursued to curry favor with the UAE. The UAE controls roughly 819 miles of coastline along the southern rim of the Persian Gulf. If the Bush administration's next move in the Middle East is against Iran, they will strike from bases inside the UAE. One of the first strategic goals for US forces will be to secure the Strait of Hormuz -- a 21-mile-wide bottleneck between the Persian Gulf and the Gulf of Oman with two mile-wide channels set aside for marine traffic.

Roughly 40% of the world's oil is shipped through the Strait of Hormuz, making it one of the most strategically important areas in the Middle East. During a press conference held on 12/18/97, Iranian Deputy Foreign Minister Abbas Maleki stated that Iran supports the free exportation of oil through the Strait, but reserved the option of closing off the shipping route if threatened. During the late '90s, Iran admitted to operating anti-aircraft and anti-ship missile emplacements on Abu Musa, an island proximate to the Strait's shipping lanes. Abu Musa is considered to be strategically important by both Iran and the UAE.

Considering the strategic importance of the UAE as a potential staging area for US forces in a war against Iran and the importance of the Strait of Hormuz to the global economy, the rationale for handing over six US ports to a UAE-controlled company is clear: the deal with DPW is the first step toward a war with Iran.

Waking Up

2006-02-21T22:14:00.000-05:00

Neocon architect says: 'Pull it down'

ALEX MASSIE IN WASHINGTON

NEOCONSERVATISM has failed the United States and needs to be replaced by a more realistic foreign policy agenda, according to one of its prime architects.

Francis Fukuyama, who wrote the best-selling book The End of History and was a member of the neoconservative project, now says that, both as a political symbol and a body of thought, it has "evolved into something I can no longer support". He says it should be discarded on to history's pile of discredited ideologies.

In an extract from his forthcoming book, America at the Crossroads, Mr Fukuyama declares that the doctrine "is now in shambles" and that its failure has demonstrated "the danger of good intentions carried to extremes".

In its narrowest form, neoconservatism advocates the use of military force, unilaterally if necessary, to replace autocratic regimes with democratic ones.

Mr Fukuyama once supported regime change in Iraq and was a signatory to a 1998 letter sent by the Project for a New American Century to the then president, Bill Clinton, urging the US to step up its efforts to remove Saddam Hussein from power. It was also signed by neoconservative intellectuals, such as Bill Kristol and Robert Kagan, and political figures Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle and the current defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld.

However, Mr Fukuyama now thinks the war in Iraq is the wrong sort of war, in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

"The most basic misjudgment was an overestimation of the threat facing the United States from radical Islamism," he argues.

"Although the new and ominous possibility of undeterrable terrorists armed with weapons of mass destruction did indeed present itself, advocates of the war wrongly conflated this with the threat presented by Iraq and with the rogue state/proliferation problem more generally."

Mr Fukuyama, one of the US's most influential public intellectuals, concludes that "it seems very unlikely that history will judge either the intervention [in Iraq] itself or the ideas animating it kindly".

Going further, he says the movements' advocates are Leninists who "believed that history can be pushed along with the right application of power and will. Leninism was a tragedy in its Bolshevik version, and it has returned as farce when practised by the United States".

Although Mr Fukuyama still supports the idea of democratic reform - complete with establishing the institutions of liberal modernity - in the Middle East, he warns that this process alone will not immediately reduce the threats and dangers the US faces. "Radical Islamism is a by-product of modernisation itself, arising from the loss of identity that accompanies the transition to a modern, pluralist society. More democracy will mean more alienation, radicalisation and - yes, unfortunately - terrorism," he says.

"By definition, outsiders can't 'impose' democracy on a country that doesn't want it; demand for democracy and reform must be domestic. Democracy promotion is therefore a long-term and opportunistic process that has to await the gradual ripening of political and economic conditions to be effective."

http://news.scotsman.com/international.cfm?id=266122006&format=print

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

2006-02-21T21:17:00.000-05:00

U.S. company plans $265 million spaceport in UAE

"LOS ANGELES (AP) — A day after Space Adventures announced it was in a venture to develop rocket ships for suborbital flights, the company said Friday it plans to build a $265 million spaceport in the United Arab Emirates.

"The commercial spaceport would be based in Ras Al-Khaimah near the southern end of the Persian Gulf, and the UAE government has made an initial investment of $30 million, the Arlington, Va.-based company said in a statement.

...

"The agreement between Space Adventures and the Texas-based venture capital firm Prodea would help finance suborbital vehicles being designed and built by the Russian aerospace firm Myasishchev Design Bureau.

"Space Adventures is best known for sending the first three space tourists to the orbiting international space station for a reported $20 million a person.

Taken from USAToday.

So, a UAE-based company will be put in charge of our ports and a US-based company will be running a "spaceport" in the UAE?

Ok, that's great, but I don't think we'll need to worry about Martian terrorists flying their starship into a fucking building. Now, Earthling terrorists who use UAE banks to transfer cash to al Qaeda operatives, well...that's another story.

The War on (Some) Terrorism

2006-02-17T11:23:00.000-05:00

Guess what? The Bush administration is outsourcing security operations for six major US ports (including New York and New Orleans) to Dubai Ports World, a United Arab Emirates-based port management company.

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not so sure that outsourcing a critical "homeland security" issue to a UAE-based company is such a hot idea. Why? Well...

The United Arab Emirates is one of only three nations that recognized the Taliban as being a legitimate government along with Pakistan (supposedly a US "ally") and Saudi Arabia (a nation run by the House of Saud, who just happen to be good, close, personal friends of the Bush family).

Dubai was a major transfer point for illegal shipments of nuclear components to Iran, Libya, and North Korea.

According to a statement made by John E. Lewis (Deputy Assistant Director of the FBI Counterterrorism Division) before the Senate Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, funds were transferred to the alleged 9-11 hijackers through UAE financial institutions.

After 9-11, United States Treasury Department officials complained that the UAE was not cooperating in an effort to track Osama bin Laden's bank accounts.

Despite the aforementioned evidence to the contrary, Bush administration considers the United Arab Emirates to be an "important ally in fight against terrorism." Why is the UAE such an "important ally"? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that the UAE is the Persian Gulf's third largest producer of oil behind Saudi Arabia and Iran.

So, how could a company based in a country that supports terrorism land a deal to secure six major US ports? Well, you might want to ask Mr. David C. Sanborn, the Director of Operations for Europe and Latin America at Dubai Ports World. Bush will be appointing Mr. Sanborn as the new administrator of the Transportation Department's Maritime Administration.

Sleep tight, America...

A Small Victory

2006-02-15T16:38:00.000-05:00

Well, looks like Old Scratch is gonna need to buy himself a snow shovel and break out the tire chains: both Chertoff (a Russian name meaning "of the devil") and Cheney (means "ghoulish plutocrat asshole" in Satan's mother tongue) have acknowledged responsibility for the reckless mishandling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster and the reckless mishandling of a shotgun, respectively.

Chertoff: "We were acutely aware of Katrina and the risk it posed."

Cheney: "It's not Harry's fault; you can't blame anybody else."

Well, I'll be dipped.

Of course, Cheney still isn't apologizing for how he handled the story, so maybe there won't be any sledding in Hell tonight after all. I guess it would be a waste of time to ask Mr. Sunshine why the details of his story keep changing, so I won't bother. Still, there's somethin' powerful fishy 'bout all this...

Meanwhile, our cryptofascist neocon government has been "keeping tabs" on 325,000 "names of international terrorism suspects or people who allegedly aid them."

325,000 potential terrorists or people with ties to terrorism? In America?

Bullshit.

Black Tuesday

2006-02-14T09:41:00.002-05:00

Top Ten Valentine's Day Songs

01.) The Clash - "Train in Vain"
02.) Paul Weller - "Sunflower"
03.) The Beatles - "For No One"
04.) Neil Young and Crazy Horse - "Fuckin' Up"
05.) The Rolling Stones - "Dead Flowers"
06.) Teenage Fanclub - "Alcoholiday"
07.) The Posies - "I Am the Cosmos"
08.) Bob Dylan - "You're a Big Girl Now"
09.) The Replacements - "Unsatisfied"
10.) Muddy Waters - "Forty Days and Forty Nights"

Google Vs. Gonzales

2006-02-13T20:55:00.001-05:00

Google -- the undisputed heavyweight champion of search engines -- has been losing value on the stock market for the last month. A recently published article in Barron’s outlines "several risks that threaten to squeeze the company’s profit margins and cut its market value in half." Marketing pressures, competition from other companies, and a negative reaction to Google's voluntary censoring of search results produced by their Chinese portal have been cited as possible reasons behind the recent drop in Google's stock price.

Google's market value has fallen 27 percent over the past month, destroying close to $40 billion in shareholder wealth. Today, Google’s market value dropped $16.91 (4.7%), closing at $345.70 on the NASDAQ. Roughly one month ago, Google's shares peaked at $475.11.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11332520/

As if that wasn't enough, the Justice Department has been trying (and failing) to subpoena search records from Google in order to crack down on "child pornography". Google basically told Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and his right-wing attack dogs to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, saying that turning over records of searches made with Google would violate the privacy of their users.

Why do I have the feeling that Google's trouble in the stock market is punishment for their refusal to cave in to Gonzales and hand over their search records to the Justice Department?

Or, maybe not... We all know that the Bush Administration would never do anything that sleazy.

Wanna buy a bridge?

Cheney's Got a Gun

2006-02-13T20:01:00.001-05:00

Noted weapons safety expert Dick Cheney ogles his new firestick.

These filthy Republican animals are the lowest form of life on the planet.

Get a load of this shit:

Cheney's companion at fault in shooting, White House says

BY WILLIAM DOUGLAS
Knight Ridder Newspapers

WASHINGTON - The White House blamed the 78-year-old man whom Vice President Dick Cheney shot during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas for the incident, as officials struggled Monday to explain why they waited nearly 24 hours before making the news public.

White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan tried to absolve Cheney of blame for shooting wealthy Austin lawyer Harry Whittington, saying that hunting "protocol was not followed by Mr. Whittington when it came to notifying others that he was there. And so, you know, unfortunately, these types of hunting accidents happen from time to time."

Several hunting experts were skeptical of McClellan's explanation. They said Cheney might have violated a cardinal rule of hunting: Know your surroundings before you pull the trigger.

"Particularly identify the game that you are shooting and particularly identify your surroundings, that it's safe to shoot," said Mark Birkhauser, the incoming president of the International Hunter Education Association, a group of fish and wildlife agencies. "Every second, you're adjusting your personal information that it is a safe area to shoot or it's not a safe area to shoot."

Safe-hunting rules published by the National Rifle Association and the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department echo Birkhauser's advice.

"Be absolutely sure you have identified your target beyond any doubt," the NRA says in the gun-safety rules on its Web site. "Equally important, be aware of the area beyond your target. This means observing your prospective area of fire before you shoot. Never fire in a direction in which there are people or any other potential for mishap. Think first. Shoot second."

On its 10 Commandments of Shooting Safety, Texas Parks and Wildlife lists being sure of your target as the third commandment. "Know what is in front and behind your target. Determine that you have a safe backstop or background."

Whittington was listed in stable condition Monday at a hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas, with birdshot wounds to his face, neck and chest. The shooting occurred about 5:30 p.m. Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch, a 50,000-acre spread in south Texas owned by friends of the president.

White House and Texas law enforcement officials haven't provided a detailed account of the incident. Katherine Armstrong, one of the ranch's owners, said Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of their vehicle to shoot a covey of quail. The third member of the hunting party was the U.S. ambassador to Switzerland, Pamela Willeford, a Texan and a Bush family friend.

Whittington shot a bird and went to get it, breaking from Cheney and Willeford. Armstrong said Whittington then came up from behind without signaling, and as a covey flushed Cheney wheeled and fired his .28-gauge shotgun, hitting Whittington.

Whittington was tended at the scene by Cheney's medical detail before being taken to the hospital by ambulance.

Though the shooting happened Saturday afternoon, it didn't become public knowledge until Armstrong notified the Corpus Christi Caller-Times, her local paper, at midday Sunday. The White House then confirmed news media requests for verification.

The lag between the shooting and the reporting of it prompted questions about why a private citizen, not the government, was disclosing a shooting involving the vice president.

McClellan said Monday that Cheney's staff didn't immediately inform the media because the first priority was tending to Whittington's health.

McClellan said White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove told Bush around 8 p.m. Saturday that Cheney had shot Whittington, but McClellan said he himself didn't learn that Cheney was the shooter until around 6 a.m. Sunday. He said he urged Cheney's office to get the information out as quickly as possible. The news broke nationally about 3:45 p.m. EST Sunday.

Lee Anne McBride, Cheney's press secretary, talked Sunday about Whittington's condition and said the vice president had spoken with him and was pleased with his condition. But she referred most questions - from the names of everyone in the hunting party to what type of weapon Cheney had fired - to Armstrong.

"The vice president thought that Mrs. Armstrong should be the first one to go out there and provide that information to the public, which she did," McClellan said.

Cheney's office has a history of not sharing information with the public. Last month, it refused to specify the nature of a foot injury for which he was given medication that caused water retention and shortness of breath and sent him to the hospital.

"He's secretive by nature," said Larry Sabato, the director of the University of Virginia's Center for Politics. "It's a dumb thing for officials to do, especially someone as experienced as Cheney. Just imagine what Jon Stewart, Jay Leno and David Letterman are going to do to him for days. It's a self-inflicted wound."

http://www.bradenton.com/mld/bradenton/news/politics/13863636.htm

What's next? A White House press release telling us how Dick Cheney's shit smells like fresh roses? Cheney could get caught strangling his own mother and would insist that Momma Cheney was choking herself; she just happened to be using his hands to do it.

Now, if they're willing to belch out a cloud of blatant lies about a fucking hunting accident, imagine the stream of bullshit they're feeding you about Iraq, the economy, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Jack Abramoff, T.W.A.T. ("The War Against Terror"), Valerie Plame, et al.

These Republican neocon sons of bitches make the Nixon Administration look like a clutch model citizens.

Un-fucking-believable...

Whoopsie Daisy!

2006-02-13T17:01:00.002-05:00

Looks like Smilin' Dick damn near killed a 78-year-old Texas lawyer over the weekend and he hasn't even had the decency to admit to any wrongdoing. The guy Cheney shot was an Austin lawyer and big-time cheerleader for filthy Texas Republicans named Harry Whittington.

There's somethin' fishy goin' on here, I tell ya.

"Fishy...?" "You meant to tell me that the Bush Administration has done something fishy?!"

Yep. There are indications that the White House was trying to suppress the story. We might not even know about our hair-trigger VP's backwoods misadventure had it not been for some lucky reporter who heard about Cheney's little accident and made it public. This wierd little episode might become Darth Cheney's Chappaquiddick.

Dare to dream...

Meet Guanlong wucaii

2006-02-10T12:45:00.000-05:00

China has been a paleontological Garden of Eden for the last decade and change. The Liaoning fossil beds alone are worthy of mention alongside the world's great dinosaur hot-spots, but it seems as if the whole damned country is teeming with absolutely amazing fossils just waiting to be discovered. The latest jaw-droppingly swank fossil find from China is Guanlong wucaii: a 160 million-year-old ancestor of the tyrannosaurids.

G. wucaii was discovered by Ronald B. Weintraub Associate Professor of Biology at The George Washington University, and Xu Xing of the Institute of Vertebrate Paleontology and Paleoanthropology (IVPP) in Beijing. To quote the George Washington University grad programs press release, "Guanlong wucaii, sheds light on the early evolution and geographical distribution of coelurosaurs, small theropod dinosaurs that include the closest relatives of birds. The discovery is announced by Clark, Xu, and six other colleagues in a paper titled "A Basal Tyrannosauroid Dinosaur from the Late Jurassic of China," that appears in the Feb. 9, 2006, edition of the science journal Nature."

Notice the morphological similarities (crest notwithstanding) between G. wucaii and the characteristics found in derived tyrannosaurids. The overall shape of the snout is the most obvious character of G. wucaii that is manifested in Late Cretaceous tyrannosaurids (paleontologist provided for scale):

Say cheese...

Filler Up

2006-02-09T12:58:00.000-05:00

It's time for another Luddite rebuttal to all those dumbass iPod playlists I keep seeing all over the place.

Top Ten Tunes of the Week

01.) The Rolling Stones - "Moonlight Mile"
02.) The Band - "Whispering Pines"
03.) King Crimson - "The Court of the Crimson King/The Return of the Fire Witch/The Dance of the Puppets"
04.) Led Zeppelin - "Ten Years Gone"
05.) The Beatles - "She's Leaving Home"
06.) R.E.M. - "Texarkana"
07.) The Flatlanders - "One Road More"
08.) Neil Young - "Four Strong Winds"
09.) Bob Dylan - "When I Paint My Masterpiece"
10.) Simon and Garfunkel - "El Condor Pasa"

OK, then...!

Ever Vigilant

2006-02-09T12:32:00.000-05:00

The ruse is wearing a little thin, don't you think?

Bush: U.S. thwarted al Qaeda attack on L.A.

Thursday, February 9, 2006; Posted: 12:24 p.m. EST (17:24 GMT)

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Shortly after 9/11, al Qaeda began planning to use shoe bombers to hijack a commercial airplane and fly it into the tallest building in Los Angeles, President Bush said Thursday.

The details were the first about the West Coast airliner plot, which was thwarted in 2002 and initially disclosed by the White House last year, Bush said.

The plot was set in motion by Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the alleged mastermind of the September 11, 2001, attacks, a month after those happened, Bush said. It involved terrorists from al Qaeda's Southeast Asia wing, Jemaah Islamiyah.

"Rather than use Arab hijackers, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed sought out young men from Southeast Asia whom he believed would not arouse as much suspicion," Bush said.

Mohammed was captured in Pakistan in 2003.

Al Qaeda's Southeast Asia leader, known as Hambali, had recruited Jemaah Islamiyah operatives for the plot, Bush said. Hambali was arrested in 2003 in Thailand.

The operatives met with al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden and then began preparing for the attack, which was derailed in mid-2002, Bush said.

The purported plot was one of 10 on a list first released by the White House in October 2005. (Full story)

The intended target of the attack, the Library Tower, is 1,018 feet tall. It was renamed the U.S. Bank Tower in 2003 and is the tallest building west of the Mississippi River.

Bush credited international cooperation in the war on terrorism with saving American lives.

"The West Coast plot shows we face a relentless and determined enemy that requires unprecedented cooperation from other nations," he said.

"By working together, we stopped a catastrophic attack."

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/02/09/bush.terror/

So, why are we hearing about this now? Years after the fact?

Hmmm...

It's a mystery to me...

Could it be political, perhaps...?

Yep.

Anywhere's Better Than Here

2006-02-09T10:27:00.000-05:00

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn't grass to graze a cow
Swarm over, Death!

Come, bombs, and blow to smithereens
Those air-conditioned, bright canteens,
Tinned fruit, tinned meat, tinned milk, tinned beans
Tinned minds, tinned breath.

Mess up the mess they call a town --
A house for ninety-seven down
And once a week for half-a-crown
For twenty years,

And get that man with double chin
Who'll always cheat and always win,
Who washes his repulsive skin
In women's tears,

And smash his desk of polished oak
And smash his hands so used to stroke
And stop his boring dirty joke
And make him yell.

But spare the bald young clerks who add
The profits of the stinking cad;
It's not their fault that they are mad,
They've tasted Hell.

It's not their fault they do not know
The birdsong from the radio,
It's not their fault they often go
To Maidenhead

And talk of sports and makes of cars
In various bogus Tudor bars
And daren't look up and see the stars
But belch instead.

In labour-saving homes, with care
Their wives frizz out peroxide hair
And dry it in synthetic air
And paint their nails.

Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough
To get it ready for the plough.
The cabbages are coming now;
The earth exhales.

--John Betjeman

George Bush doesn't care about black people...

2006-02-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

...and Laura's not too thrilled about them, either.

"We know now there were no weapons of mass destruction over there [standing ovation]... but Coretta knew and we know that there are weapons of misdirection right down here. Millions without health insurance... Poverty abounds... For war, billions more, but no more for the poor." -- Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowery

The Reverend is right. He must be right; look at the rat bastard behind him squrm in his seat...

Uh, um...

2006-02-07T15:05:00.001-05:00

"...President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President Roosevelt have all, uh...authorized electronic surveillance of any-- ...on a far broader scale, far broader. Without any kind of probable cause..." -- Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, during the NSA wiretapping hearings.

?!

Maybe Wilson might have authorized the use of crude electronic surveillance equipment, Roosevelt definitely had the technology to tap communications lines, but...Washington and Lincoln?

Huh...

I didn't know that.

Makes sense, seeing as how Henry VIII, Ivan the Terrible, Genghis Khan, Caligula, and Tutankhamun all did the same thing.

Dumbshits...

A Long Overdue Moment of Science

2006-02-07T10:48:00.000-05:00

I found this article fascinating beyond reason, so I'm reprinting it here for your enjoyment. Knock yourself out:

The Wisdom of Parasites

Posted by Carl Zimmer

I collect tales of parasites the way some people collect Star Trek plates. And having filled an entire book with them, I thought I had pretty much collected the whole set. But until now I had somehow missed the gruesome glory that is a wasp named Ampulex compressa.

As an adult, Ampulex compressa seems like your normal wasp, buzzing about and mating. But things get weird when it's time for a female to lay an egg. She finds a cockroach to make her egg's host, and proceeds to deliver two precise stings. The first she delivers to the roach's mid-section, causing its front legs buckle. The brief paralysis caused by the first sting gives the wasp the luxury of time to deliver a more precise sting to the head.

The wasp slips her stinger through the roach's exoskeleton and directly into its brain. She apparently uses sensors along the sides of the stinger to guide it through the brain, a bit like a surgeon snaking his way to an appendix with a laparoscope. She continues to probe the roach's brain until she reaches one particular spot that appears to control the escape reflex. She injects a second venom that influences these neurons in such a way that the escape reflex disappears.

From the outside, the effect is surreal. The wasp does not paralyze the cockroach. In fact, the roach is able to lift up its front legs again and walk. But now it cannot move of its own accord. The wasp takes hold of one of the roach's antennae and leads it--in the words of Israeli scientists who study Ampulex--like a dog on a leash.

The zombie roach crawls where its master leads, which turns out to be the wasp's burrow. The roach creeps obediently into the burrow and sits there quietly, while the wasp plugs up the burrow with pebbles. Now the wasp turns to the roach once more and lays an egg on its underside. The roach does not resist. The egg hatches, and the larva chews a hole in the side of the roach. In it goes.

The larva grows inside the roach, devouring the organs of its host, for about eight days. It is then ready to weave itself a cocoon--which it makes within the roach as well. After four more weeks, the wasp grows to an adult. It breaks out of its cocoon, and out of the roach as well. Seeing a full-grown wasp crawl out of a roach suddenly makes those Alien movies look pretty derivative.

I find this wasp fascinating for a lot of reasons. For one thing, it represents an evolutionary transition. Over and over again, free-living organisms have become parasites, adapting to hosts with exquisite precision. If you consider a full-blown parasite, it can be hard to conceive of how it could have evolved from anything else. Ampulex offers some clues, because it exists in between the free-living and parasitic worlds.

Amuplex is not technically a parasite, but something known as an exoparasitoid. In other words, a free-living adult lays an egg outside a host, and then the larva crawls into the host. One could easily imagine the ancestors of Ampulex as wasps that laid their eggs near dead insects--as some species do today. These corpse-feeding ancestors then evolved into wasps that attacked living hosts. Likewise, it's not hard to envision an Ampulex-like wasp evolving into full-blown parasitoids that inject their eggs directly into their hosts, as many species do today.

And then there's the sting. Ampulex does not want to kill cockroaches. It doesn't even want to paralyze them the way spiders and snakes do, since it is too small to drag a big paralyzed roach into its burrow. So instead it just delicately retools the roach's neural network to take away its motivation. Its venom does more than make roaches zombies. It also alters their metabolism, so that their intake of oxygen drops by a third. The Israeli researchers found that they could also drop oxygen consumption in cockroaches by injecting paralyzing drugs or by removing the neurons that the wasps disable with their sting. But they can manage only a crude imitation; the manipulated cockroaches quickly dehydrated and were dead within six days. The wasp venom somehow puts the roaches into suspended animation while keeping them in good health, even as a wasp larva is devouring it from the inside

Scientists don't yet understand how Ampulex manages either of these feats. Part of the reason for their ignorance is the fact that scientists have much left to learn about nervous systems and metabolism. But millions of years of natural selection has allowed Ampulex to reverse engineer its host. We would do well to follow its lead, and gain the wisdom of parasites.

http://loom.corante.com/archives/2006/02/02/the_wisdom_of_parasites.php

Late-Nite Satori

2006-02-05T03:43:00.000-05:00

Two things...

01.) Rich kids can't hold their liquor.

02.) I'm short one Bert Jansch comp. Jimmy refreshed my memory. I know where it is, but the master of it's temporary domain has... I don't know -- I haven't heard anything since I was brushed aside with a fucking email.

Très typical...

...And Iran, Iran So Far Away

2006-02-04T15:00:00.000-05:00

Don Rumsfeld: Flip-flopper

Reichsmarschall Rumsfeld has sounded off about Iran, and guess what...?

Iran is world's top sponsor of terrorism: Rumsfeld

By Louis Charbonneau Sat Feb 4, 8:39 AM ET

MUNICH (Reuters) - U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld accused
Iran on Saturday of being the world's leading sponsor of terrorism, a charge that his Iranian counterpart rejected as "ridiculous" and "outrageous."

"The Iranian regime is today the world's leading state sponsor of terrorism," Rumsfeld told an annual security conference in Munich where talk of Iran's nuclear program was at the top of the agenda.

"The world does not want, and must work together to prevent, a nuclear Iran," he said.

Rumsfeld spoke just before the UN's nuclear watchdog decided to report Iran, which Washington and the
European Union fear is covertly developing atomic weapons, to the UN Security Council. Tehran says its nuclear program is peaceful.

"We must continue to work together to seek a diplomatic solution to stopping the development of (Iran's) uranium enrichment program," Rumsfeld said.

Enrichment can make fuel for atomic power plants or weapons.

"While we oppose the actions of Iran's regime, we stand with the Iranian people who want a peaceful democratic future. They have no desire to see the country they love isolated from the rest of the civilized world," he said.

Iranian Defense Minister Mostafa Mohammad-Najjar was quoted by Iranian state television as saying Rumsfeld's comments were "outrageous remarks and a ridiculous projection by the White House leaders."

"Rumsfeld had better try to act responsibly for the disgrace of attacking Afghanistan and
Iraq, because the people of the world will never forget the torturing of the prisoners of Abu-Ghraib," he said.

IRAQ IS THE "CENTRAL FRONT"

Although he labeled the Islamic republic of Iran as the main sponsor of terrorism, Rumsfeld said Islamic terrorists had made Iraq the "central front in their war against the civilized world."

Rumsfeld said they were using Iraq as a training and recruiting ground, in the same way as they operated in Afghanistan when the Taliban were in charge.

But he vehemently rejected any suggestion that Iraq had been a catalyst for a global wave of terrorist acts.

"Any argument that Iraq might have been a trigger is inconsistent with the facts," he said, listing a number of terrorist acts that took place even before September 11, 2001.

In addition to the September 11 attacks, which are believed to have been carried out by al Qaeda, Rumsfeld named other attacks which he said Islamic terrorists had masterminded. He mentioned the massacre of schoolchildren in Beslan, Russia and bombings in Britain, Spain, Egypt, Israel and elsewhere.

Rumsfeld said that the world needed to prepare itself for a long fight against Islamic terrorists who he said wanted to set up a global Islamic empire.

"They have designed and distributed a map where national borders are erased and replaced by a global extremist Islamic empire," he said. "As during the Cold War, the struggle ahead promises to be a long war."

Washington and its allies were doing everything possible to ensure that terrorists did not get hold of weapons of mass destruction, which he described as a nightmare scenario.

"The world would change overnight if a handful of terrorists managed to obtain and launch a chemical, biological, or radiological weapon," he said.

(Additional reporting by Alireza Ronaghi in Tehran)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060204/pl_nm/security_rumsfeld_dc

Anybody with two neurons to rub together saw this coming down the pike months ago. Dumbsfeld seems to think that our over-extended forces -- many of whom are stuck in a seemingly endless cycle of deployments to Iraq -- are capable of taking on Iran. The first cost of neoconservative imperialism is the lives of the soldiers they claim to support.

Look, there is no doubt that Iran is a potentially serious threat, but are we to tell our soldiers (all volunteers...at the moment) that they're expected to fight unorganized insurgents in Iraq at well as engage a new enemy on a new front? Bush has carelessly and arrogantly wasted the lives of 2,249 American soldiers in Iraq. Our soldiers don't have the proper equipment to fight, yet the top brass and our privatized mercenary contractors seem to get all the armor they need. And now these Neocon bastards -- the same sons of bitches who betrayed the trust of every American soldier and compromised the honor and integrity of our military forces and institutions -- want to move us into another war.

So, when is this filthy, lying government going to make good on their "support the troops" rhetoric? Just asking...

Good Enough for Me

2006-02-03T15:37:00.000-05:00

Fun with Photoshop and Cookie Monster:

Further Adventures With the Bush Crime Family

2006-02-03T12:57:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks as if ol' Jebby is a criminal, too!

Read:

Jeb shredding state records?

By Joe Baker, Senior Editor

A source inside the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation told Insider magazine that Florida Gov. Jeb Bush has ordered the shredding of documents and public records, a clear violation of Florida law.

The department has oversight and approval of state gaming licensees, slot machines, dog and horse tracks, and jai-alai games.

The source, who asked to remain anonymous, said the governor also has brought in personnel from Texas to replace key members of his staff in Tallahassee. The Texans are overseeing the destruction of state documents, according to the source.

A source in the FBI confirmed that public records are being destroyed on orders of Jeb Bush. The source said the governor may have taken that action in response to the continuing criminal probe of Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff and the federal investigation of the 2001 gangland murder in Miami of Gus Boulis, owner of the Sun Cruz casino boat.

Copyright 2002-2006 - The Rock River Times

From the Feb. 1-7, 2006, issue of the Rock River Times.

Who could have guessed that the man responsible for handing Florida to Bush in 2000 would stoop so low?

It Is Curious, So Very Curious

2006-02-03T12:25:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, the jokes write themselves.

Go see Curious George in theaters or in the White House. You're gonna get a whole lotta nosy, bumbling chimptastic fun either way, so there you go.

Tonkin Redux

2006-02-02T16:00:00.000-05:00

Read, and spread the word far and wide:

Revealed: Bush and Blair discussed using American Spyplane in UN colours to lure Saddam into war.

Published: 2 Feb 2006
By: Gary Gibbon

Channel 4 News tonight reveals extraordinary details of George Bush and Tony Blair's pre-war meeting in January 2003 at which they discussed plans to begin military action on March 10th 2003, irrespective of whether the United Nations had passed a new resolution authorising the use of force.

Channel 4 News has seen minutes from that meeting, which took place in the White House on 31 January 2003. The two leaders discussed the possibility of securing further UN support, but President Bush made it clear that he had already decided to go to war. The details are contained in a new version of the book 'Lawless World' written by a leading British human rights lawyer, Philippe Sands QC.

President Bush said that:

"The US would put its full weight behind efforts to get another resolution and would 'twist arms' and 'even threaten'. But he had to say that if ultimately we failed, military action would follow anyway.''

Prime Minister Blair responded that he was: "solidly with the President and ready to do whatever it took to disarm Saddam."

But Mr Blair said that: "a second Security Council resolution would provide an insurance policy against the unexpected, and international cover, including with the Arabs."

Mr Sands' book says that the meeting focused on the need to identify evidence that Saddam had committed a material breach of his obligations under the existing UN Resolution 1441. There was concern that insufficient evidence had been unearthed by the UN inspection team, led by Dr Hans Blix. Other options were considered.

President Bush said: "The US was thinking of flying U2 reconnaissance aircraft with fighter cover over Iraq, painted in UN colours. If Saddam fired on them, he would be in breach."

He went on: "It was also possible that a defector could be brought out who would give a public presentation about Saddam's WMD, and there was also a small possibility that Saddam would be assassinated."

Speaking to Channel 4 News, Mr Sands said:

"I think no one would be surprised at the idea that the use of spy-planes to review what is going on would be considered. What is surprising is the idea that they would be used painted in the colours of the United Nations in order to provoke an attack which could then be used to justify material breach. Now that plainly looks as if it is deception, and it raises some fundamental questions of legality, both in terms of domestic law and international law."

Also present at the meeting were President Bush's National Security Adviser, Condoleeza Rice and her deputy Dan Fried, and the President's Chief of Staff, Andrew Card. The Prime Minister took with him his then security adviser Sir David Manning, his Foreign Policy aide Matthew Rycroft, and and his chief of staff, Jonathan Powell.

Those present, as documented in Mr Sands' book, also discussed what might happen in Iraq after liberation.

President Bush said that he: "thought it unlikely that there would be internecine warfare between the different religious and ethnic groups."

http://www.channel4.com/news/special-reports/special-reports-storypage.jsp?id=1661

So, just how far does this administration have to go before we impeach and indict these Neocon bastards? Unreal...

Dullards and Sense

2006-02-02T13:51:00.001-05:00

What do Bigfoot, Atlantis, UFOs, and Republican "fiscal conservatism" all have in common?

None of them exist outside the fevered imaginings of the lunatic fringe.

Read:

Bush to seek $120 billion for wars, sources say

Money would pay for conflicts in Iraq, Afghanistan into next fiscal year

MSNBC News Services
Updated: 1:43 p.m. ET Feb. 2, 2006

WASHINGTON - President Bush will ask Congress for another $70 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, congressional sources said Thursday.

The sources said that money, which would come on top of about $330 billion for the wars so far, would be for this fiscal year. The White House likely will seek another $50 billion in emergency money in the fiscal 2007 defense spending bill for the wars, the sources said.

The $70 billion in additional war funding would be to fund wars in Iraq and Afghanistan for the remainder of this fiscal year, which ends Sept. 31. The $50 billion for the 2007 budget is not expected to be enough for the entire year.

“We understand that besides the supplemental that now, for the first time, they’re going to request a bridge fund,” said C.W. “Bill” Young, who chairs the House Appropriations Defense Subcommittee. “This is what we’re hearing.”

The source also said that the administration was also expected to seek another $18 billion for Hurricane Katrina relief and rebuilding.

Another $2.3 billion to combat avian flu is also expected.

The details of the requests are not finalized but Bush’s budget for 2007, to be submitted next week, will reflect the totals for planning purposes, said one congressional aide, who spoke with the Associated Press condition of anonymity.

Young and Rep. John Murtha, the senior Democrat on the panel, said late last year that military officials had told them to expect additional Iraq funding of as much as $100 billion for 2006.

But the lawmakers said this week that the total could be lower because of expected troop reductions.

Katrina surprise
On relief for Hurricane Katrina, the request will include funding for federal facilities such as military bases and veterans hospitals damaged by the September storm.

Donald Powell, the coordinator for the federal government’s Gulf Coast rebuilding effort, was expected to make the hurricane announcement later in the day.

Congressional staffers were being briefed on the requests. The hurricane proposal comes on top of $62 billion Congress approved last year in the wake of devastation from hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

Congressional sources said they had not expected the request for additional funds for another week or two.

An aide to Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu, a Democrat, said the White House might have moved up the hurricane relief after harsh criticism of President Bush’s scant mention of the disaster in his State of the Union address Tuesday.

“Today I think the White House is really just trying to improve their P.R. (public relations) on Katrina,” said Adam Sharp, Landrieu’s spokesman.

The Associated Press and Reuters contributed to this report.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/11145948/

Just to refresh your memory, Clinton handed the Chimp a $236 billion budget surplus when he left office. Now, thanks to the oh-so thrifty policies of the Neocons and the degregulation dumbfucks, we owe $8.2 trillion.

We. Are. Screwed.

Surprise!

2006-02-02T11:03:00.000-05:00

Hey! Guess what? Guess what?!

Bush lied during the State of the Union address!

Surprise!!!

Read:

Administration backs off Bush's vow to reduce Mideast oil imports

By Kevin G. Hall
Knight Ridder Newspapers

WASHINGTON - One day after President Bush vowed to reduce America's dependence on Middle East oil by cutting imports from there 75 percent by 2025, his energy secretary and national economic adviser said Wednesday that the president didn't mean it literally.

What the president meant, they said in a conference call with reporters, was that alternative fuels could displace an amount of oil imports equivalent to most of what America is expected to import from the Middle East in 2025.

But America still would import oil from the Middle East, because that's where the greatest oil supplies are.

The president's State of the Union reference to Mideast oil made headlines nationwide Wednesday because of his assertion that "America is addicted to oil" and his call to "break this addiction."

Bush vowed to fund research into better batteries for hybrid vehicles and more production of the alternative fuel ethanol, setting a lofty goal of replacing "more than 75 percent of our oil imports from the Middle East by 2025."

He pledged to "move beyond a petroleum-based economy and make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past."

Not exactly, though, it turns out.

"This was purely an example," Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman said.

He said the broad goal was to displace foreign oil imports, from anywhere, with domestic alternatives. He acknowledged that oil is a freely traded commodity bought and sold globally by private firms. Consequently, it would be very difficult to reduce imports from any single region, especially the most oil-rich region on Earth.

Asked why the president used the words "the Middle East" when he didn't really mean them, one administration official said Bush wanted to dramatize the issue in a way that "every American sitting out there listening to the speech understands." The official spoke only on condition of anonymity because he feared that his remarks might get him in trouble.

Presidential adviser Dan Bartlett made a similar point in a briefing before the speech. "I think one of the biggest concerns the American people have is oil coming from the Middle East. It is a very volatile region," he said.

Through the first 11 months of 2005, the United States imported nearly 2.2 million barrels per day of oil from the Middle East nations of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Iraq. That's less than 20 percent of the total U.S. daily imports of 10.062 million barrels.

Imports account for about 60 percent of U.S. oil consumption.

Alan Hubbard, the director of the president's National Economic Council, projects that America will import 6 million barrels of oil per day from the Middle East in 2025 without major technological changes in energy consumption.

The Bush administration believes that new technologies could reduce the total daily U.S. oil demand by about 5.26 million barrels through alternatives such as plug-in hybrids with rechargeable batteries, hydrogen-powered cars and new ethanol products.

That means the new technologies could reduce America's oil appetite by the equivalent of what we're expected to import from the Middle East by 2025, Hubbard said.

But we'll still be importing plenty of oil, according to the Energy Department's latest projection.

"In 2025, net petroleum imports, including both crude oil and refined products, are expected to account for 60 percent of demand ... up from 58 percent in 2004," according to the Energy Information Administration's 2006 Annual Energy Outlook.

Some experts think Bush needs to do more to achieve his stated goal.

"We can achieve energy independence from the Middle East, but not with what the president is proposing," said Craig Wolfe, the president of Americans for Energy Independence in Studio City, Calif. "We need to slow the growth in consumption. Our organization believes we need to do something about conservation" and higher auto fuel-efficiency standards.

Taken from KnightRidder Washington Bureau

Did anybody seriously think that this oily, Neocon son-of-a-bitch was actually serious about reducing this country's reliance on imported oil? What a fucking scam.

Wave bye-bye to this:

...and this:

...and say hello to this:

Good job, America. Way to go.

The State of the Union

2006-02-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

Well, I sat through the CEO-in-Chief's "State of the Union" address and you know what? Goebbels would be green with envy.

Everything is OK. Repeat: Everything is OK. Go back to bed, America. Go out and buy more products. Go to Disneyland. Rest assured: Everything is OK. There is no "illegal spying"; there is only Papa Liberty, dutifully watching over his precious children.

There is no war; there is only victory. Iraq is going swimmingly, thank you very much! See...?

Everything is OK in Iraq! Everything is just wonderful!

Don't let these evil Liberal scientists and unAmerican book-reading types tell you that cloning is OK. It is not OK; it is evil. Trust us. Beware of chimeras, America! Beware of Liberal chimera terror!

Of course, everything Bush said last night was complete bullshit, but nevermind that.

You want to know how the war is going? Take a look for yourself.

You want to see one of those evil, abhorrent "chimeras" the Moron was babbling about? OK, fair warning...it's pretty gruesome. Get ready...

Here you go:

Aaaaaaaaagh! No! No! No! No! No! Take it away! Take it away! Take it away! No! No! No! It's too evil! Too evil! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!

Then there's that whole "domestic spying" thing. Sure, sure...the NSA is spying on terrorist groups like the Quakers, but that's beside the point. Welcome to the Information Awareness Office, home of the not-at-all Orwellian Total Information Awareness Program.

Yeah. G'night, America. It was nice knowing you. Welcome to Murka 2.0. Don't get sick, don't go bankrupt, and don't question anything Dear Leader or The Party tells you and you'll be just fine!

¡Viva el Arbusto!

Oh God, You Devil

2006-02-01T10:19:00.000-05:00

In Pennsylvania, ‘God’ is a Republican

But man who signs deity’s name instead of his own may not get to vote

Updated: 5:59 p.m. ET Jan. 27, 2006

READING, Pa. - One registered Republican won't be able to vote in the next election unless he appears at a Berks County Elections Board to explain the signature on his registration form.

The man is registered as Paul S. Sewell, Elections Director Deborah M. Olivieri said, but his form is signed "God."

County Solicitor Alan S. Miller said Sewell claims his "God" signature is merely a legal mark like the "X" used by people who are illiterate.

Sewell, 40, said he will be happy to explain. As the owner of a bail enforcement agency, he finds fugitives, he said.

"Whenever I go to arrest somebody, they say, 'Oh, God, give me another chance. Oh, God, let me go. I'll turn myself in tomorrow,'" Sewell said.

He said he thinks his designated mark is legal. "PennDOT accepted it on my driver's license. I have a credit card with it," he said. "It shouldn't be a problem."

© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11064137/

You know, for a bunch of self-professed "Christians", these Republican scumbags sure know how to step on God's toes, don't they?

You smell something burning...?

Phoning It In

2006-01-31T19:38:00.000-05:00

Nothing insightful tonight. Not that I ever say anything even remotely relevatory, but oh well.

Say, what's this here down at the bottom of the barrel?

Oh, look! It's the...

Top Ten Worst Names for Your Male Cat or Dog

01.) "Allan"
02.) "Steve"
03.) "Greg"
04.) "Dennis"
05.) "Guy"
06.) "Chet"
07.) "Doug"
08.) "Dean"
09.) "Curt"
10.) "Vince"

I thought it was a funny list, so there you go.

Never mind.

Satire Is Dead

2006-01-30T18:32:00.000-05:00

You can mock right-wing idiocy all day and never come close to the sheer ignorance of the real deal.

Read:

Stolen Land?: Earwax, B.O. More Proof "Native" Americans Not Native

By Debbie Schlussel

***To all the liberal idiots who've left dumb, insulting comments on this entry, as directed by similarly intellectually-challenged lefty websites, I'm well aware Indians came here over the Bering Strait, which you'd realize if you actually bothered to read what I wrote below in this entry. I simply quoted the NYTimes that this was yet more proof. Yet, there is no proof they were the first here. And even if they were, this is yet more proof that they originated in ASIA. Hello? . . . This is yet more evidence that we did NOT steal THEIR land. It means it was not THEIRS to begin with.***

Today's New York Times details a Japanese scientific on earwax and body odor in Asians vs. Europeans and Africans. There is actually an "earwax gene" in DNA that determines this.

But the paper glosses over the most important finding. The study found that Europeans and Africans tend to have wet ear wax, sweat more, and have more under arm body odor than Asians, who have dry ear wax and don't sweat much. But the study also found that "Native" Americans have dry ear wax and body odor similar to Asians, proving they migrated here from Asia.

So whom did THEY steal the land from? Somebody else, obviously. Yet, no "Dances With Wolves" and "Into the West" from Hollywood about that.

Here's more from the NYTimes:

"The dry form, the researchers say, presumably arose later somewhere in northern Asia, because they detected it almost universally in their tests of northern Han Chinese and Koreans. The dry form becomes less common in southern Asia, probably because the northerners with the dry earwax gene intermarried with southern Asians carrying the default wet earwax gene. The dry form is quite common in Native Americans, confirming other genetic evidence that their ancestors migrated across the Bering straits from Siberia 15,000 years ago.

***

"They write that earwax type and armpit odor are correlated, since populations with dry earwax, such as those of East Asia, tend to sweat less and have little or no body odor, whereas the wet earwax populations of Africa and Europe sweat more and so may have greater body odor. Several Asian features, such as small nostrils and the fold of fat above the eyelid, are conjectured to be adaptations to the cold. Less sweating, the Japanese authors suggest, may be another adaptation to the cold climate in which the ancestors of East Asian peoples are thought to have lived.

Posted by Debbie at January 30, 2006 09:42 AM

http://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2006/01/stolen_land_ear.html

Debbie, you're a dumbass. Another worthless, fact-impaired, right-wing dumbass. I swear, it's impossible to satirize these jackasses. You can dig more of Debbie Schlussel's alarmingly ignorant ideas at the (get this) "Intelligence Summit" from February 17th through the 20th.

S-S-S-Saturday Night

2006-01-28T22:28:00.000-05:00

So yeah, big Saturday night for me. Sittin' around the fuckin' house. Again. For the umpteenth year in a row.

Yep. Tonight it's Jack Black (the booze) and music. What's on my hi-fi? I'm sure you'd love to know, so here you go:

Top One-Hundred Ways to Keep Sane:

001.) The Stone Roses - "Made of Stone"
002.) Led Zeppelin - "Black Country Woman"
003.) The Grateful Dead - "Box of Rain"
004.) The Beatles - "Things We Said Today"
005.) Ride - "Vapour Trail"
006.) Luna - "Slash Your Tires"
007.) Hüsker Dü - "Celebrated Summer"
008.) John Lennon - "Instant Karma!"
009.) Uncle Tupelo - "Anodyne"
010.) Elvis Costello and the Attractions - "Accidents Will Happen"
011.) David Bowie - "Life on Mars?"
012.) Pink Floyd - "Wish You Were Here"
013.) Pavement - "Here"
014.) The Creation - "Making Time"
015.) Love - "Seven and Seven Is"
016.) Marvin Gaye - "What's Going On"
017.) The White Stripes - "Little Bird"
018.) The Velvet Underground - "Rock and Roll"
019.) Grandpaboy (a.k.a. Paul Westerberg) - "Kickin' the Stall"
020.) The Rolling Stones - "Gimme Shelter"
021.) The Flying Burrito Brothers - "Hot Burrito #1"
022.) The Stooges - "TV Eye"
023.) Jane's Addiction - "Of Course"
024.) The Pixies - "Gouge Away"
025.) Manic Street Preachers - "Everything Must Go"
026.) Pulp - "Common People"
027.) The Cult - "She Sells Sanctuary"
028.) U2 - "A Sort of Homecoming"
029.) Siouxsie and the Banshees - "Cities in Dust"
030.) This Mortal Coil - "Song to the Siren"
031.) ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - "Monsoon"
032.) Fugazi - "Repeater"
033.) The Dismemberment Plan - "The City"
034.) Sonic Youth - "Drunken Butterfly"
035.) The Cure - "Pictures of You"
036.) The Beach Boys - "Sloop John B"
037.) The Pogues - "Thousands Are Sailing"
038.) Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - "Into My Arms"
039.) Camper Van Beethoven - "Sweethearts"
040.) Johnny Thunders - "You Can't Put Your Arms Around a Memory"
041.) Concrete Blonde - "Joey"
042.) Bauhaus - "In the Flat Field"
043.) Mudhoney - "In 'n' Out of Grace"
044.) The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Maps"
045.) Throwing Muses - "Bright Yellow Gun"
046.) The Posies - "Definite Door"
047.) Frank Black and the Catholics - "I Need Peace"
048.) Big Star - "I Am the Cosmos"
049.) Lucinda Williams - "Metal Firecracker"
050.) George Harrison - "My Sweet Lord"
051.) Jerry Garcia - "The Wheel"
052.) Old 97's - "Bloomington"
053.) Dinosaur Jr. - "Out There"
054.) Calexico - "Sirena"
055.) Patsy Cline - "Walking After Midnight"
056.) Neil Young and Crazy Horse - "The Losing End (When You're On)"
057.) Gillian Welch - "Look at Miss Ohio"
058.) R.E.M. - "World Leader Pretend"
059.) Massive Attack - "Protection"
060.) The Hollies - "Bus Stop"
061.) Teenage Fanclub - "Did I Say"
062.) My Bloody Valentine - "Off Your Face"
063.) Pearl Jam - "Given to Fly"
064.) Sugar - "JC Auto"
065.) Diana Ross and the Supremes - "You Keep Me Hangin' On"
066.) Los Lobos - "La Pistola y el Corazón"
067.) The Who - "So Sad About Us"
068.) Son Volt - "Tear Stained Eye"
069.) Bob Dylan - "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands"
070.) The Replacements - "Here Comes a Regular"
071.) Cracker - "Sunday Train"
072.) Lush - "Nothing Natural"
073.) Kitchens of Distinction - "Drive That Fast"
074.) The Boo Radleys - "Does This Hurt?"
075.) The Jesus and Mary Chain - "Rollercoaster" (from the "Rollercoster" EP)
076.) The Decemberists - "The Engine Driver"
077.) Jimmy Ruffin - "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted"
078.) Morrissey - "Alma Matters"
079.) The Wonder Stuff - "Play"
080.) Verve - "This Is Music"
081.) Saint Etienne - "Like a Motorway"
082.) Matthew Sweet - "Devil With the Green Eyes"
083.) Oasis - "Rockin' Chair"
084.) The La's - "Timeless Melody"
085.) The Fugees - "Killing Me Softly"
086.) Mazzy Star - "Halah"
087.) Skip James - "Devil Got My Woman"
088.) Hank Williams - "Ramblin' Man"
089.) Whiskeytown - "Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight"
090.) Wilco - "Misunderstood"
091.) Radiohead - "Black Star"
092.) The Buzzcocks - "Everybody's Happy Nowadays"
093.) PJ Harvey - "Yuri G"
094.) Kristen Hersh - "Your Ghost"
095.) Suede - "My Dark Star"
096.) The Smiths - "There Is a Light That Never Goes Out"
097.) Tarnation - "Your Thoughts and Mine"
098.) Neko Case and Her Boyfriends - "Porchlight"
099.) Underground Lovers - "Losin' It"
100.) The Clash - "Train in Vain"

Time to get the hell out of this Godforsaken town...

Coincidence...?

2006-01-28T01:57:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you ("you" being the two people who read this blog) are familiar with the crazed, neofascist ramblings of right-wing, jocko-homo circus-freak Michelle Malkin. If you are, then this little bit of accidental magic from Google News will make you soil yourself.

If only this were true...

Rock Me Amadeus

2006-01-27T12:28:00.000-05:00

Happy 250th birthday wishes to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. If you don't know the man's work, do yourself a favor and listen to Symphony No. 41 in C Major, K. 551 (the "Jupiter Symphony") and Eine kleine Nachtmusik. Beautiful...

Queasy Listening

2006-01-26T16:35:00.000-05:00

Haven't had one of these in a while, so here we go...

Top Ten Songs of the Week

01.) Brian Eno - "King's Lead Hat"
02.) Mudhoney - "Suck You Dry"
03.) The Beatles - "Rain"
04.) Ride - "Leave Them All Behind"
05.) Bob Dylan - "Idiot Wind"
06.) Neil Young & Crazy Horse - "Like a Hurricane"
07.) Sonic Youth - "Shadow of a Doubt"
08.) Pink Floyd - "Echoes"
09.) The Jazz Butcher - "Ghosts"
10.) PJ Harvey - "Rid of Me"

OK, off to my craptastic Thursday evening class, now...

Big Brother's Big Stick

2006-01-26T16:03:00.000-05:00

So, how do you turn this...

...into this?

Read:

House Report 109-333 - USA PATRIOT IMPROVEMENT AND REAUTHORIZATION ACT OF 2005

SEC. 605. THE UNIFORMED DIVISION, UNITED STATES SECRET SERVICE.

(a) In General- Chapter 203 of title 18, United States Code, is amended by inserting after section 3056 the following:

`Sec. 3056A. Powers, authorities, and duties of United States Secret Service Uniformed Division

`(a) There is hereby created and established a permanent police force, to be known as the `United States Secret Service Uniformed Division'. Subject to the supervision of the Secretary of Homeland Security, the United States Secret Service Uniformed Division shall perform such duties as the Director, United States Secret Service, may prescribe in connection with the protection of the following:

`(1) The White House in the District of Columbia.

`(2) Any building in which Presidential offices are located.

`(3) The Treasury Building and grounds.

`(4) The President, the Vice President (or other officer next in the order of succession to the Office of President), the President-elect, the Vice President-elect, and their immediate families.

`(5) Foreign diplomatic missions located in the metropolitan area of the District of Columbia.

`(6) The temporary official residence of the Vice President and grounds in the District of Columbia.

`(7) Foreign diplomatic missions located in metropolitan areas (other than the District of Columbia) in the United States where there are located twenty or more such missions headed by full-time officers, except that such protection shall be provided only--

`(A) on the basis of extraordinary protective need;

`(B) upon request of an affected metropolitan area; and

`(C) when the extraordinary protective need arises at or in association with a visit to--

`(i) a permanent mission to, or an observer mission invited to participate in the work of, an international organization of which the United States is a member; or

`(ii) an international organization of which the United States is a member;

except that such protection may also be provided for motorcades and at other places associated with any such visit and may be extended at places of temporary domicile in connection with any such visit.

`(8) Foreign consular and diplomatic missions located in such areas in the United States, its territories and possessions, as the President, on a case-by-case basis, may direct.

`(9) Visits of foreign government officials to metropolitan areas (other than the District of Columbia) where there are located twenty or more consular or diplomatic missions staffed by accredited personnel, including protection for motorcades and at other places associated with such visits when such officials are in the United States to conduct official business with the United States Government.

`(10) Former Presidents and their spouses, as provided in section 3056(a)(3) of title 18.

`(11) An event designated under section 3056(e) of title 18 as a special event of national significance.

`(12) Major Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates and, within 120 days of the general Presidential election, the spouses of such candidates, as provided in section 3056(a)(7) of title 18.

`(13) Visiting heads of foreign states or foreign governments.

`(b)(1) Under the direction of the Director of the Secret Service, members of the United States Secret Service Uniformed Division are authorized to--

`(A) carry firearms;

`(B) make arrests without warrant for any offense against the United States committed in their presence, or for any felony cognizable under the laws of the United States if they have reasonable grounds to believe that the person to be arrested has committed or is committing such felony; and

`(C) perform such other functions and duties as are authorized by law.

`(2) Members of the United States Secret Service Uniformed Division shall possess privileges and powers similar to those of the members of the Metropolitan Police of the District of Columbia.

`(c) Members of the United States Secret Service Uniformed Division shall be furnished with uniforms and other necessary equipment.

`(d) In carrying out the functions pursuant to paragraphs (7) and (9) of subsection (a), the Secretary of Homeland Security may utilize, with their consent, on a reimbursable basis, the services, personnel, equipment, and facilities of State and local governments, and is authorized to reimburse such State and local governments for the utilization of such services, personnel, equipment, and facilities. The Secretary of Homeland Security may carry out the functions pursuant to paragraphs (7) and (9) of subsection (a) by contract. The authority of this subsection may be transferred by the President to the Secretary of State. In carrying out any duty under paragraphs (7) and (9) of subsection (a), the Secretary of State is authorized to utilize any authority available to the Secretary under title II of the State Department Basic Authorities Act of 1956.'.

(b) Amendment to Table of Sections- The table of sections at the beginning of chapter 203 of title 18, United States Code, is amended by inserting after the item relating to section 3056 the following new item:

3056A. Powers, authorities, and duties of United States Secret Service Uniformed Division.

(c) Conforming Repeal to Effectuate Transfer- Chapter 3 of title 3, United States Code, is repealed.

(d) Conforming Amendments to Laws Affecting District of Columbia- (1) Section 1537(d) of title 31, United States Code, is amended--

(A) by striking `and the Executive Protective Service' and inserting `and the Secret Service Uniformed Division'; and

(B) by striking `their protective duties' and all that follows and inserting `their protective duties under sections 3056 and 3056A of title 18.'

(2) Section 204(e) of the State Department Basic Authorities Act (sec. 6--1304(e), D.C. Official Code) is amended by striking `section 202 of title 3, United States Code, or section 3056' and inserting `sections 3056 or 3056A'.

(3) Section 214(a) of the State Department Basic Authorities Act (sec. 6--1313(a), D.C. Official Code) is amended by striking `sections 202(8) and 208 of title 3' and inserting `section 3056A(a)(7) and (d) of title 18'.

(e) Additional Conforming Amendments-

(1) Title 12, United States Code, section 3414, `Special procedures', is amended by striking `3 U.S.C. 202' in subsection (a)(1)(B) and inserting `18 U.S.C. 3056A'.

(2) The State Department Basic Authorities Act of 1956 is amended--

(A) in the first sentence of section 37(c) (22 U.S.C. 2709(c)), by striking `section 202 of title 3, United States Code, or section 3056 of title 18, United States Code' and inserting `section 3056 or 3056A of title 18, United States Code';

(B) in section 204(e) (22 U.S.C. 4304(e)), by striking `section 202 of title 3, United States Code, or section 3056 of title 18, United States Code' and inserting `section 3056 or 3056A of title 18, United States Code'; and

(C) in section 214(a) (22 U.S.C. 4314(a)), by striking `sections 202(7) and 208 of title 3, United States Code' and inserting `subsections (a)(7) and (d) of section 3056A of title 18, United States Code'.

(3) Section 8D(a)(1)(F) of the Inspector General Act of 1978 (5 U.S.C. App.) is amended by striking `section 202 of title 3' and inserting `section 3056A of title 18'.

(4) Section 8I(a)(1)(E) of the Inspector General Act of 1978 (5 U.S.C. App.) is amended by striking `section 202 of title 3' and inserting `section 3056A of title 18'.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/cpquery/?&dbname=cp109&sid=cp109Ct6ND&refer=&amp;amp;r_n=hr333.109&item=&sel=TOC_208072

Isn't that fucking wonderful?! The Republicans want to create an American Gestapo. Maybe I'm just paranoid (yeah, "maybe"), but this sounds like the kind of organization that would have really appealed to Hitler and Stalin.

How far is New Zealand from Indiana? Hmmm...

Pod People

2006-01-26T10:45:00.000-05:00

Damnit, I knew it! I knew it!

Self-Examination Time

2006-01-25T10:39:00.000-05:00

Go to http://www.politicalcompass.org/ and see where you plot on the political spectrum.

I did.

Here's how I rate:

So yeah, judging by these results, I gare-awn-TEE you that I'm now on some NSA (National Socialist Agency?) watchlist.

Anyway, that's that. It's fucking Wednesday, I've got homework that I have to finish before 5:00, and "Movin' on Up" is the all-time funkiest TV show theme-song ever. I hate TV, but I liked George and Weezie. I'd like to see George Jefferson in the White House. Weezie would make the world's greatest First Lady. The woman just don't take no shit. Period. Love her...

Interesting...

2006-01-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

Looks like both Republicans and Democrats are biased assholes. What a surprise.

Read:

Political bias affects brain activity, study finds

Democrats and Republicans both adept at ignoring facts, brain scans show

Democrats and Republicans alike are adept at making decisions without letting the facts get in the way, a new study shows.

And they get quite a rush from ignoring information that's contrary to their point of view.

Researchers asked staunch party members from both sides to evaluate information that threatened their preferred candidate prior to the 2004 Presidential election. The subjects' brains were monitored while they pondered.

The results were announced today.

"We did not see any increased activation of the parts of the brain normally engaged during reasoning," said Drew Westen, director of clinical psychology at Emory University. "What we saw instead was a network of emotion circuits lighting up, including circuits hypothesized to be involved in regulating emotion, and circuits known to be involved in resolving conflicts."

Bias on both sides

The test subjects on both sides of the political aisle reached totally biased conclusions by ignoring information that could not rationally be discounted, Westen and his colleagues say.

Then, with their minds made up, brain activity ceased in the areas that deal with negative emotions such as disgust. But activity spiked in the circuits involved in reward, a response similar to what addicts experience when they get a fix, Westen explained.

The study points to a total lack of reason in political decision-making.

"None of the circuits involved in conscious reasoning were particularly engaged," Westen said. "Essentially, it appears as if partisans twirl the cognitive kaleidoscope until they get the conclusions they want, and then they get massively reinforced for it, with the elimination of negative emotional states and activation of positive ones."

Notably absent were any increases in activation of the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain most associated with reasoning.

The tests involved pairs of statements by the candidates, President George W. Bush and Senator John Kerry, that clearly contradicted each other. The test subjects were asked to consider and rate the discrepancy. Then they were presented with another statement that might explain away the contradiction. The scenario was repeated several times for each candidate.

A brain-scan technique known as functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI, revealed a consistent pattern. Both Republicans and Democrats consistently denied obvious contradictions for their own candidate but detected contradictions in the opposing candidate.

"The result is that partisan beliefs are calcified, and the person can learn very little from new data," Westen said.

Other relatively neutral candidates were introduced into the mix, such as the actor Tom Hanks. Importantly, both the Democrats and Republicans reacted to the contradictions of these characters in the same manner.

The findings could prove useful beyond the campaign trail.

"Everyone from executives and judges to scientists and politicians may reason to emotionally biased judgments when they have a vested interest in how to interpret 'the facts,'" Westen said.

The researchers will present the findings Saturday at the Annual Conference of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

© 2006 LiveScience.com. All rights reserved.

Dizzamn!

2006-01-24T21:43:00.000-05:00

This is the result of an impeachment poll taken at MSNBC:

Of course, this wasn't a "scientific poll", but that's still pretty damned amazing. 86% of the people who took this survey think Bush should be impeached. Wow...

I say we go after each and every one of these fascist Republican criminals. Do the crime, do the time, you worthless, right-wing assholes. Fuck the lot of you. What was this shit about "restoring honor and dignity to the White House" that we heard back in '99/'00?

Ah, I guess it was just more lies from the oh-so "honorable" and "dignified" Republican Party.

Buncha fucking criminal bastards...

Gott Mit Uns

2006-01-24T14:24:00.000-05:00

It's bad enough that the idiot thinks he's God's Own President, but do we really need the media feeding his fantasy of being some sort of all-powerful, divinely-guided, boomer Charlemagne?

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying the cross." -- Sinclair Lewis

Damn it all, eh...?

2006-01-24T00:50:00.000-05:00

Well, looks like Canada is off the list of places that I might like to go into political exile...

Conservative Party Wins in Canada Election

By BETH DUFF-BROWN, Associated Press Writer

OTTAWA - Stephen Harper and his Conservative Party won national elections Monday and ended 13 years of Liberal rule, giving Canada a leader who was expected to move the country to the right on social and economic issues and bolster ties with the United States.

Prime Minister Paul Martin conceded defeat after official results gave the challengers a near-insurmountable lead. However, it appeared likely the Conservatives's victory margin would be too narrow to avoid ruling over a minority government, making it difficult to get legislation through a divided House of Commons.

There were cheers at the Conservative Party headquarters in Calgary as the media predictions were announced. Harper was expected to give his victory speech later in the night after all the results are announced.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060124/ap_on_re_ca/canada_election

Of course, Canadian conservatives probably don't hold a candle to the crypto-fascist (or not-so crypto, as the case may be) swine who are busy driving this fading republic straight into hell. Let's just hope that the Canadian Conservative Party isn't the evil, tuque-wearing, brewski-chugging, toonie-spending, boreal cousin of His Satanic Majesty's Swinewhore Party.

KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK!

2006-01-24T00:32:00.000-05:00

That's the sound of the clock hung in the back of my skull, banging away the seconds like fucking John Henry blowing off some steam.

KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK!

Little chunks of life, opportunity, youth, and (potential) potential falling away, away, away. God damnit, I've spent too much time wasting time.

KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK!

I missed my turn back there at Albuquerque. Literally. I should have followed Riann out west. I should have made a break for it back in 2002. Bloomington, SLIS, the day-to-day routine, the same five or six meals made with toxic regularity...

Well, I'm fucking-A sick of it.

KLUNK! KLUNK! KLUNK!

So, here's the plan: Finish this worthless semester, pack up my crap, and hit the fucking road. Ain't no fucking film school going to seek me out; I've got to get out "there" and get fucking started.

The clock is ticking, my patience is wearing dangerously thin, and that God damned elusive light at the end of the tunnel is finally getting bigger.

I hope it's not a train...

Only a Dumb Animal Sticks Its Paw in the Fire Twice

2006-01-23T15:30:00.000-05:00

Buttafuocos, Amy Fisher Plan TV Reunion

Mon Jan 23, 11:57 AM ET

NEW YORK - More than a decade after 16-year-old Amy Fisher had a sexual relationship with a much-older car mechanic and shot his wife in the face, the one-time "Long Island Lolita" and Joey and Mary Jo Buttafuoco have agreed to appear together in a televised reunion.

All three have signed on for the appearance, which has yet to be sold to a network, television producer David Krieff told the New York Post for Monday editions.

"It's time to just put it behind us," Fisher, now 31, told the newspaper. "We played this all out in a public eye. It'd be interesting to let the public see the healing process at the end. They saw everything else — why not let them see the final product?"

Fisher spent seven years in prison.

Joey Buttafuoco, who was jailed for statutory rape following the 1992 shooting, said he planned to ask Fisher to explain her actions.

"I've been asked about a million times by Mary Jo, `Why did Amy shoot me?' I was never able to get that answer," said Buttafuoco, now 49.

"There's going to be a lot of shocking revelations, and that's why I'm excited to sit down to do this," he said.

The Buttafuocos moved to California and divorced in 2003. Mary Jo, who remains partially paralyzed from the shooting, is engaged.

Joey Buttafuoco, who has remarried, was sentenced in March 2004 to a year in jail and five years' probation after pleading guilty to felony insurance fraud. In August, he pleaded not guilty to charges that he violated probation by possessing ammunition.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060123/ap_en_tv/people_fisher_buttafuoco_reunion

Un-fucking-believable. Television producers are right next to La Familia Bush on the Worthless Pile of Shit chart.

Oh, I've finally made a New Year's resolution: I'm through with this whole "dating" thing. It's just a bunch of bullshit. Ten years of dead-end relationships and I'm still just as single as I was way back when.

What a surprise.

Altogether Ooky

2006-01-19T12:10:00.001-05:00

Spooky:

(L to R: Boris Badenov, Natasha Fatale, Fearless Leader)

(Jack Abramoff)

(Katherine Harris)

(The Chimperor)

Even spookier:

Here Come the Bastards...

2006-01-16T14:40:00.001-05:00

So, it looks like Bush really actually wants to be a dictator! Surprise!

Read:

Bush could seize absolute control of U.S. government
By DOUG THOMPSON
Publisher, Capitol Hill Blue
Jan 13, 2006, 07:42

President George W. Bush has signed executive orders giving him sole authority to impose martial law, suspend habeas corpus and ignore the Posse Comitatus Act that prohibits deployment of U.S. troops on American streets. This would give him absolute dictatorial power over the government with no checks and balances.

Bush discussed imposing martial law on American streets in the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks by activating “national security initiatives” put in place by Ronald Reagan during the 1980s.

These “national security initiatives," hatched in 1982 by controversial Marine Colonel Oliver North, later one of the key players in the Iran-Contra Scandal, charged the Federal Emergency Management Agency with administering executive orders that allowed suspension of the Constitution, implementation of martial law, establishment of internment camps, and the turning the government over to the President.

John Brinkerhoff, deputy director of FEMA, developed the martial law implementation plan, following a template originally developed by former FEMA director Louis Guiffrida to battle a “national uprising of black militants.” Gifuffrida’s implementation of martial law called for jailing at least 21 million African Americans in “relocation camps.” Brinkerhoff later admitted in an interview with the Miami Herald that President Reagan signed off on the initiatives and they remained in place, dormant, until George W. Bush took office.

Brinkerhoff moved on the Anser Institute for Homeland Security and, following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, provided the Bush White House and the Pentagon with talking points supporting revised “national security initiatives” that would could allow imposition of martial law and suspension of the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878, the law that is supposed to forbid use of troops for domestic law enforcement.

Brinkerhoff wrote that intentions of Posse Comitatus are “misunderstood and misapplied” and that the U.S. has in times of national emergency the “full and absolute authority” to send troops into American streets to “enforce order and maintain the peace.”

Bush used parts of the plan to send troops into the streets of New Orleans following Hurricane Katrina. In addition, FEMA hired former special forces personnel from the mercenary firm Blackwater USA to “enforce security.”

Blackwater USA, in its promotional materials, describes itself as “the most comprehensive professional military, law enforcement, security, peacekeeping, and stability operations company in the world,” adding that “we have established a global presence and provide training and operational solutions for the 21st century in support of security and peace, and freedom and democracy everywhere.”

Blackwater is also a major U.S. contractor in Iraq and has a contract with the Bush White House to provide additional security work “on an as-needed basis.”

The Department of Homeland Security established the “Northern Command for National Defense,” a wide-ranging program that includes FEMA, the Pentagon, the FBI and the National Security Agency. Executive orders already signed by Bush allow the Northern Command to send troops into American streets, seize control of radio and television stations and networks and impose martial law “in times of national emergency.”

The authority to declare what is or is not a national emergency rests entirely with Bush who does not have to either consult or seek the approval of Congress for permission to assume absolute control over the government of the United States.

The White House press office would neither confirm nor deny existence of Bush’s executive orders or the existence of the Northern Command for National Defense. Neither would the Department of Homeland Security.

But my sources within the White House and DHS tell me the plans are in place, ready for implementation when the command comes from the man who keeps telling the American public that he is a “war time president” who will “do anything in my power” to impose his will on the people of the United States.

And he has made sure that power will be absolute when he chooses to use it.

When the left-wing and right-wing elements of this society begin to share conspiracy theories, it's time to start worrying. Of course, it's easy to be paranoid when the country is being run by fascist swine.

Das Amerikanische Reich

2006-01-12T14:56:00.000-05:00

Nope...! No "disruptors" here!

Wir sind gefickt, meine Freunde...

We Are a Cancer

2006-01-08T23:20:00.001-05:00

Forgive us...

Had a Holly-Jolly X-mas...

2006-01-04T11:33:00.000-05:00

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go to the other room and read.” --Groucho Marx

Well, I did it -- I sprung for a new TV over the break. Sure, it was expensive and I didn't need it, but I got it anyway. It's one of those high-res, 9:16 anamorphic jobs with a flat screen. It makes a pleasing little blippity "diddley-ooo" noise when you turn it off and an equally pleasing "doodley-dwip" noise when it's turned on. Sure, it's silly, but it's a nice touch of Space Age technophilia. Sometimes, I'm a sucker for the futuristic. Hmmm...

I wanted to get a set that was just a monitor, as I don't watch TV and thus have absolutely no use for a tuner, but I couldn't find one that was to my liking. C'est la Vie... No, I'm strictly a DVD/VHS kinda guy. The new TV is a vast improvement over the old one -- it's actually formatted for movies! Instead of trying to cram a 1:1.85, 1:2.35 etceteras image into a square frame, this puppy has got the girth to handle movie frame ratios like a champ. Neat-O!

What else? Nothing much, I'm afraid... I've begun the unenviable task of untying the Gordian knot of my embryonic screenplay. I'm actually making some progress, but not as much as I should like. Writing this thing is like climbing a scree slope; you work your ass off to move a few precious feet uphill only to have the ground give way and send you butt-sledding back down to the bottom. Despite the rough start, it seems that I'm actually making progress and improving what I had already written. I looked over the first draft last night and I couldn't believe how many clichés I had overlooked. Yow...! It's all better now, though -- I'm back on the chain gang with a vengeance.

That's about it, I guess. Mad props to TigerRed for the CDs -- they's gooo-oood! I'd like to give a shout-out to Solisoleil for close to two months of refreshingly good times. Who loves ya, baby?!

Anyway, Merry belated Christmas...

I Got Nothin'...

2005-12-29T15:58:00.000-05:00

S'been a while...

I've been in a mood to take a road trip out to the desert lately. The Midwest is boring as hell, but you knew that already. So, in the spirit of hopping in a car and heading out to where the mighty Saguaro grow, here's some top-ten filler:

Top Ten Road-Trip Songs

01.) Hank Williams - "Ramblin' Man"
02.) Pell Mell - "Nothing Lies Still Long"
03.) Calexico - "Crystal Frontier (widescreen version)"
04.) Cracker - "Loser"
05.) The Flying Burrito Brothers - "Christine's Tune (Devil in Disguise)"
06.) Grandpaboy - "High Time"
07.) Son Volt - "Windfall"
08.) Frank Black - "I Heard Ramona Sing"
09.) The Rolling Stones - "Moonlight Mile"
10.) Tarnation - "Your Thoughts and Mine"

That's it.

Filler Time

2005-12-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

Nothing much to report. Oh, I know -- the Republicans continue to be corrupt, lying assholes; Johnny "Jesus" Damon pocketed a cool $52 mil by jumping the Red Sox ship for the Dark Lord Steinbenner's Legion of Pricks; and the Cubs already suck again. I just learned that they signed Juan "Spooky" Pierre. Good call, guys. Even better: He's the new lead-off hitter.

?!

Not only is Pierre an outstandingly average player, but he looks like a refugee from a Tim Burton movie. Just slug down some whiskey (for the pain) and watch a '06 season Cubs game. You'll see what I mean.

Can we impeach Dusty Baker? Wouldn't that be nice?

"YerrrrrOWT, Dusty! Outta there! Out! YerrrrrOWT! Go away! Go away! Out, out, out!"

More filler, less killer:

Top Fifteen Tunes of the Day

01.) PJ Harvey - "50ft Queenie"
02.) Jimi Hendrix - "Who Knows"
03.) Johnny Cash - "Cocaine Blues"
04.) Little Richard - "Keep a Knockin'"
05.) Camper Van Beethoven - "No More Bullshit"
06.) The Minutemen - "Jesus and Tequila"
07.) X - "The Hungry Wolf"
08.) Speedy West & Jimmy Bryant - "Stratosphere Boogie"
09.) The Ramones - "Rockaway Beach"
10.) The Replacements - "I Will Dare"
11.) Calexico - "Sirena"
12.) The Pogues - "Thousands Are Sailing"
13.) Neko Case & Her Boyfriends - "Guided by Wire"
14.) The Clash - "Clampdown"
15.) Hank Williams - "Move It on Over"

Over and out.

Schadenfreude

2005-12-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

It looks like the good people of Pennsylvania have triumphed over the Christianist flying monkeys in the wee town of Dover.

I love it when sanity and reason banish manipulative superstitions back to the darkness of ignorance. These pseudo-Christian religio-fascist circus freaks and their fraudulent "intelligent design" horse-shit are anathema to an enlightened society. Kudos to the citizens of Dover for giving the American Taliban the boot.

Now, about Kansas...

The Monster Mash

2005-12-19T13:42:00.001-05:00

I just saw "Kong" this past weekend.

What a piece of shit.

This hasn't been a good year for movies to say the least, but I was hoping that the holiday release period might gimme something to savor that's both visually delicious and narratively nutritious (or vice-a-versa).

Nope.

The first big holiday movie of the season that I saw was "The Chronicles of Narnia". Uh...lemme 'splain:

I would never have seen "Narnia" had it not been for my better half wanting to get out and see a movie. She read the books as a kid, so at least she had a working knowledge of the story from which she could approach and assess the movie. The only thing I knew about it was that a.) the lion was supposed to be Jesus and b.) he was called "Aslan", thus my "Arslan" was gonna need a new handle. But, I knew nothing about the story and frankly never cared to, so I got to watch an "event movie" without having any prior attachments to or knowledge of the universe, the characters, or the conflicts that drove the narrative. What I saw was a poorly directed, lazily conceived, and bloated pile of idiomatic, visual, and narrative clichés.

So, typical contemporary Hollywood fare, then.

Lovey provided me with a running, play-by-play commentary on the tapestry of corny Jesus allegories that were woven through the threadbare plot. One of the upshots of dating a Catholic is that she knows far, far more about Chrisatianity than I do. Of course, I've got dinosaurs and geology covered, so I guess we're even.

Kinda.

Not really.

Never mind.

As far as "Kong" goes, you could take my critique of "Narnia", ignore the Christian angle (kinda), replace the word "Narnia" with "Kong", and bingo: you've got an appropriate set of complaints for another movie. Of course, "Kong" came to us with a whole new set of narrative and visual problems, but I don't want to waste any more time discussing with anyone. Just go see it if you're curious to find out how to waste over 207,000,000 perfectly good American dollars.

Detailing the faults of this oversized pile of shit has already become tedious, but I still enjoy pointing out that the dinosaurs looked absolutely terrible. For God's sake, all you have to do is go on-line or open up a contemporary dinosaur book to find a perfectly adequate set of visual references, but oh no! Evidently, they decided to just wing it. All I can say is, if you're not going to work on the plot, dialogue, acting, etc., then you could, at the very least, get the damned dinosaurs to look right. The Allosaurs (I'm assuming they were Allosaurs...) looked like they had Down Syndrome! Corky the Allosaur...?

I just talked with a good friend of mine before I wrote this entry. We were discussing movies, TV, and the general sense that we're being intellectually swamped by the "tyranny of imagery" in modern culture. I'm inclined agree with him, despite the fact that I'm damned and determined to make a set of movies that are set in a visually stimulating and image-dependent milieu -- namely, Big Science Fiction. Of course, all of my work in creating this universe won't mean squat if the story and the dialogue stinks. As far as Hollywood movies are concerned, writing has taken a backseat to special effects and what passes for "editing" in the post-MTV universe.

There's also a terrible lack of vision among these hack directors that dominate the industry. Film is a visual medium (really?!), so it stands to reason that the visualization of a film should be approached with an eye toward serving the narrative. Guys like Lean, Hitchcock, Bergman, Welles, and Renoir understood that the camera angles, camera movement, the framing of a shot, fades, transitions, and editing should be communicative above all else. Nowadays, it's all style over substance -- the triumph of artless, pseudo-intellectual mediocrity over intelligently made works of art.

But, with a great director, style is substance! In "Lawrence of Arabia", David Lean didn't choose to cut from Peter O'Toole blowing-out the match to a shot of the sun rising over the desert because it was "cool." That cut serves the narrative by getting Lawrence (and the audience) underway on his journey while informing the audience of a change within Lawrence himself. It's an incredibly communicative bit of filmmaking that relies solely upon a meaningful continuum of imagery. The same can be said for the "bone-to-spaceship" shot in "2001". There's no useless verbal exposition or tedious use of montage. Kubrick takes you from the paleolothic to the space age in one elegantly conceived cut. He conveys the evolution of man's technological sophistication without hammering you over the head with some God-awful, superfluous, expository nonsense. The narrative continuity is preserved despite the huge leap in time and it's a visually arresting -- hell, even iconic -- set of images.

That's filmmaking, my fine friends.

Many men are missin' much...

2005-12-15T09:37:00.000-05:00

I'm hiding out from a paper at the moment, so I can't stop-and-chat for long. But, considering that The Chimperor is still making lame excuses for the Hallibur--...er, Iraq War, I thought we might take a peek at just how much these red-state jackasses acutally "support the troops."

Here's a graphic showing U.S. fatalities by city in BushCo's little oil war:

http://icasualties.org/oif/US_CITY.aspx

My... Isn't that interesting? Why, it looks as if it's mostly Godless, queer-lovin', pinko, blue-state cultural elitists who are paying for Bush's imperial fantasies with their lives.

Here's something else that might interest you whining, right-wing, ribbon-junkie assholes:

States Receiving Most in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:

01. D.C. ($6.17)
02. North Dakota ($2.03)
03. New Mexico ($1.89)
04. Mississippi ($1.84)
05. Alaska ($1.82)
06. West Virginia ($1.74)
07. Montana ($1.64)
08. Alabama ($1.61)
09. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)

Would you look at all that red? Isn't that interesting? Wait! There's more!

States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:

01. New Jersey ($0.62)
02. Connecticut ($0.64)
03. New Hampshire ($0.68)
04. Nevada ($0.73)
05. Illinois ($0.77)
06. Minnesota ($0.77)
07. Colorado ($0.79)
08. Massachusetts ($0.79)
09. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)

http://taxprof.typepad.com/taxprof_blog/2004/09/red_states_feed.html

Très éclairant, n'est-ce pas?

Fuck you too, George.

Indeed...

Why is the last mile the hardest mile?

2005-12-12T22:48:00.002-05:00

Nothin' big here. Just a really nice winter sunset that could have been a whole lot nicer somewhere out in the middle of the Mojave Desert.

The ranting, raving, and complaining will continue Thursday night. Sweet, beautiful Thursday night... Right now, I'm trying my damnedest to kill a class that's been sucking up my time since August. To vanquish my overwhelmingly boring foe, I need to finish a 1,500-to-1,700-word paper about some damned database. Isn't that exciting? Writing a seven-page paper about something that could be adequately described in a couple of paragraphs. Or, you could just skip the paper and go to the company's website. Let them tell you about it. Cut out the middle-man. Just cut me right on out of this shit.

I'd rather be watching a movie... Even a bad movie (like, "Battlefield Earth" bad..."Gigli" bad) is better than slogging through this shit...

Welcome to the Machine

2005-12-09T10:39:00.000-05:00

Last November, I was sitting around my apartment one day with nothing to do. I was home from work with the flu, totally bored out of my gourd, when I decided that all I wanted to do was watch a movie. Nothing heavy, y'know -- trying to deal with somebody like Bergman when you feel like shit is a bad idea -- but something more fulfilling than the jerkwad "X-treme" action flicks, re-heated remakes, Dullsville biopics, and stale comedies that Hollywood has been barfing-out for the past dozen-or-so years. I wanted something imaginative; something that would suck me in and take my mind off of my shabby, snot-filled life for an hour-and-a-half.

I didn't have any movies that looked appetizing, so I took a geyser-hot shower, got dressed, slammed a shot of NyQuil (the greener-than-hell "spruce-whiskey" kind) and a V-8 chaser, grabbed some Kleenex, and made my way into town to look for a good sick-day movie.

Now, I had long ago decided that a certain director named George wasn't going to bilk me for any more cash -- I had given that chinless, pompadoured fool plenty of dough (not to mention a good five years of my childhood), so the recently-re-re-re-released "Star Wars" movies would have to wait for some other sucker with money to burn. Nope, I was going to do myself a favor and pick-up something that wasn't the cinematic equivalent of a three-day-old Happy Meal.

So, of course, I kicked myself like a circus mule when I came to the realization that I had returned home from my noble mission with a copy of the damned "Star Wars" DVDs. I must have grabbed them in a NyQuil- and fever-induced haze. I was thinking "Truffaut", but I was under the influence of the 'Quil (the other Green Fairy) and grabbed "Star Wars" in spite of myself! Yeah, that's it... So, when I got home, I set the DVDs on the kitchen counter and went right back to bed. I was pissed at my weakness in the face of George Lucas' awesome marketing juggernaut. I drifted off to sleep still chasing the NyQuil dragon, but my buzz was dulled by the realization that I had once again been seduced by the Flanneled One's re-heated, pseudo-mythological, dorkwad smorgasbord.

I woke up the next day feeling a little better. I creaked out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen to slug down a heroic dose of orange juice only to find the goofy, Kabukitronic mug of Darth Vader leering at me from behind the toaster. Damn, I really did buy the fuckin' thing! Oh well. I was sick; I wasn't thinking clearly when I made the purchase. Yeah, like you've never done anything stupid while under the influence of a psychotropic substance.

Anyway, I whipped-up some eggs, fired-up some coffee, and decided that I would have a little Tatooine with my breakfast. I popped the "Star Wars" DVD into the player and...I couldn't believe it. It was better than I remembered. Well, better looking, at least -- the print has been retouched more loving care than a Playboy centerfold shot. Too bad you can't retouch the dialog and the actor's performances... Anyway, anyway… I made it to the scene where Luke is trying to find R2-D2 with an inexplicably high-tech pair of binoculars when I decided to pause the movie. I couldn’t figure out why I thought it looked so...fresh. All of the sudden, after seeing “Star Wars” about 13,764 times, that scene looked absolutely great. Fantastic, even. It looked like a "real" reality, in spite of all unreasonable nonsense like ambiguously gay robots, floating jet-cars, and a race of violence-prone natives that "talk" by grunting like Rush Limbaugh gnawing on a pork loin, it actually works!

After pausing to re-evaluate what I had just "seen again for the first time", I finished the movie, only to realize that the rest of "Star Wars" -- excepting the Death Star battle -- drags like a beached walrus on 'ludes once Han and the boys split for Alderaan. Still, I was jazzed. I followed-up "Star Wars" with the infinitely superior "The Empire Strikes Back", watched it "again for the first time" too, and loved everything about it...except Luke Skywalker and Yoda. When the film cuts to Dagobah, all the fun stops and is replaced with a load of turgid, pseudo-mythological bullshit and hollow faux-Zen nonsense. After slogging through the dank swamps of Dagobah (couldn't have picked a better setting for Yoda), it finally dawned on me that the real hero of "Empire" is Han Solo. He's the best part of the movie. He's the best-written character out of the whole damned series (Leia gets the silver medal). The bickering between Han and Leia could almost have come straight out of a Howard Hawks screwball comedy -- the dull-as-Wonderbread Luke Skywalker storyline seems like it belongs to a different movie altogether. I finally cracked it! I finally figured out what makes "Empire" the best "Star Wars" movie and -- surprise! -- it doesn't have jack-shit to do with anybody named "Skywalker" or "Lucas". Hmmm...

I spent the next day back at work looking up the "prehistory" of Star Wars. I wanted to know how a goofball like Lucas managed to come up with all of those fantastic names -- "Tatooine", "Alderaan", "Han Solo", and so on. I wanted to know who he ripped off -- outside of Akira Kurosawa, John Ford, and Buck/Flash Rogers/Gordon -- when he was writing the first movie. After holding my breath through as much of the early drafts of "Star Wars" as I could take and looking into most, if not all, of Lucas's influences, I began to realize that George's Empire really needs to just go the hell away. We all know that Lucas ain't going away on his own; somebody needs to shove him out of the way. Somebody needs to beat "Star Wars". So, I decided to see if I could come up with my own Big Space Movie. I was just curious to see if I could do it. Well...

What began as a thought exercise ballooned into a full-blown idea within a month. After a couple more months of tinkering and plotting, I had reached the point where tossing my Big Movie Idea out the window and getting on with my life would have been an incredible waste of time. Once the summer of 2005 rolled around, I was beginning to get weird ideas like "go to film school" and "maybe being a filmmaker is the line of work that I've been looking for." After spending well over six months thinking about nothing but movies, I began to realize that I might actually be on to something with my cinematic pipe-dreams. I began to think about other types of films that I would like to make -- films that don't have a damned thing to do with space and fantasy worlds. I want to make something as good as "His Girl Friday" and "Annie Hall" as well as a Big Space Movie. So, with a bit of encouragement from a trusted friend, I started thinking about making a little movie on my own and maybe, just maybe...actually going to film school.

Oh boy! I can't wait to drop that bomb right on top of Christmas dinner!

"You want to what?! Since when?! Pull your head out of your ass and pass the stuffing."

I've been working on my Big Movie Idea for a little over a year now. I think it could be bigger than Sinatra, but that confidence isn't arrogance or pure folly on my part -- it's more "parental" than that. "Parental" in the sense that everybody wants to believe that this thing you've nurtured for so long is someday going to grow up and be President, eradicate some incurable disease, go to the moon, win the Nobel Prize, and so on.

Now, why do I think my Big Movie Idea could someday grow up and be somebody? I'm not sure. It's some sort of intuition, I guess. Well, intuition and the fact that the "competition" is a fucking joke. For the last few years, it seems as if Hollywood has been totally incapable of producing anything better than “just all right" movies. They've been in a slump for the last 15 years and there appears to be no end in sight. Of course, when business ain't booming, the CEOs and PR swine spew out a litany of reasons as to why profits keep getting slimmer every year: ticket prices are too high; screens are too small; there's too much pre-show advertising; prices at the concession stand are ridiculously high; video games and home-entertainment systems are stealing Hollywood's thunder; and my favorite excuse: the industry is experiencing a "talent drought."

So, a "talent drought"...followed by a plague of celluloid-eating locusts and an industry-wide epidemic of "Dutch Film Disease", right? Excuses, excuses, excuses...

No, what's wrong with Hollywood is the fact that lawyers, MBAs, and marketing vermin -- not filmmakers -- have been running the studios since the 1970s. What's wrong is the fact that the CEOs and related turds who dominate the uppermost levels of the industry are more interested in generating profit than art.

Now, before you get started, let me say that a.) No, I don't think all Hollywood films are shit and b.) I understand that movies are a business, and businesses exist to make money. Fine. That's the way it is in any industry. I accept that. But, what is unacceptable is the fact that these clowns who run the big studios are so eager to blame everybody but themselves for their failings. Kinda reminds me of a certain president, come to think of it...

My point is that you can't blame the filmmakers, screenwriters, and actors for the sorry state of the American movie industry. Chances are, they're doing the best they can while the talentless vermin who sign the checks tell the artists how to make their movies "better"...or else. Sure, there are way too many hacks working in the creative side of the industry. Sure, too many talented people give up on making decent films after being seduced by more cash, more points, and the Dark Side. But don't try to tell me that there isn't any talent out there. Bull. Shit. The talent is out there, but they don't "know somebody" who can grease the wheels and open doors for them. The lucky ones, at best, "know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody else who used to be a PA for Steven Soderbergh back in 1999." Just because "the talent" doesn't happen to know the right people doesn't mean that they're not out there, screenplays in-hand, ready to show these soft, brown-noser industry hacks how to make a good movie that -- gasp! -- might actually be artistically valid and profitable. Oh, Heavens!

The only "talent drought" that's responsible for the sorry state of the movie industry is the one at the top of the corporate food-chain. The same class of vermin who also happen to be killing the music industry. You sick of Jessica/Ashlee yet? Guess who you have to thank. Probably the same bastards who control the studios. The entire system is designed to crank-out cross-marketed shit faster than a sick goose. How lovely.

Now, don't get me wrong: I'm not completely anti-capitalist. I like my consumer crap just as much as the next American. Sure, it may be a different kind of crap; it may be "cooler" crap, but its all part of the same game. All I'm saying is that, when we allow CEOs and marketing swine to dictate our tastes and opinions, our cultural (and public) institutions suffer. You want better movies, then you're gonna have to take a chance -- back away from the well-established brands (comic books, video games, sitcoms, Oprah's book club, Steven Spielberg...) and let a new group of hungry artists bring some desperately-needed freshness and talent to the turgid Dagobah of modern Hollywood.

End of rant.

Stay tuned for "Batman Christ: 007 and the Dukes of Hazzard Vs. the Attack of the Phantom Fantastic Four X-Men Menace: Episode II: Jurassic Jones Vs. Super Aqua-Spawn Hellboy-Man and the Justice League of da Vinci's Mummy Code of Doom"!

We come from the land of the ice and snow...

2005-12-08T13:51:00.000-05:00

We're finally getting our first legitimate snow of the year! The meteorologists are predicting that we're gonna get six-to-seven inches of wintry goodness by the time this storm passes. I think I'm gonna have to build me a snowman this year -- I haven't Frankensteined any Schneemänner since I was a youngin'.

Calvin's got the right idea:

Man, I miss "Calvin and Hobbes". "Calvin", "Bloom County", and "The Far Side" were essential breakfast-table reading back in the day. It's amazing how quality art disappears, but the cock-a-roaches will still be reading crap like "Garfield" and "Mallard Fillmore" long after this species has bowed-out of life's rich pageant.

So, the battle over the life of "Tookie" Williams continues in Herr Schwarzenegger's "Kahl-eee-fohn-ya." I don't know about you, but I wouldn't count on a guy who is best known for playing a character called the "Terminator" to commute Williams' death sentence. It's amazing: "Tookie" killed four people almost three decades ago and these right-wing ghouls want him to swing, but an ignorant Überhonky who has the blood of tens of thousands of people all over his otherwise lily-white hands somehow isn't a killer despite the well-documented fact that the U.S. invasion of Iraq was predicated on a pack of lies.

...And these right-wing pro-death/pro-life (I'm still trying to figure that one out) lunatics claim that they're interested in "justice."

All I want for Christmas is a new prez'nit.

Speaking of "Kahl-eee-fohn-ya", I don't get why these right-wing morons hate the place so much. Between Ronald Reagan, Bruce Willis, John Wayne, Arnold Schwarzenegger, John Milius, Mel Gibson, and good ol' Dick Nixon, you would think these right-wing tools would just love Cali!

?!

Oh! What It Seemed to Be

2005-12-06T23:12:00.001-05:00

Merry Fitzmas, y'all!

All the "political capital" in the world don't mean squat when you're popularity is fading faster than a pair of cheap jeans, does it Georgie Boy? I guess we can expect you and your cabal of ghouls to "catapult the propaganda" to Stalin-esque heights now that a majority of the country is hip to the fact that you're a crook and a bastard. Of course, these results are taken from a CNN "insta-poll", so I wouldn't exactly jump for joy just yet. Still, as a rough barometer of public opinion, these results are encouraging. Keep it up, George! Darth Cheney's approval rating is bottoming out in the teens. You gotta wonder who comprises this stubborn 19% that still supports this half-dead vampire-cyborg? Hmmm...

Meanwhile...

...it looks as if a new species of carnivorous mammal has turned up in Borneo! I always like to hear about new species, but a new mammal is extra-nice. Researchers are unsure as to the new critter's precise taxonomic affiliation. Although it seems to share some morphological characteristics with lemurs (evolutionary predecessors of monkeys and apes), the range of Lemuridae is naturally restricted to Madagascar. It's more likely that this animal represents a new species belonging to the family Viverridae -- a sub-group of Carnivora that includes fossas, genets, linsangs, and civets.

Fossa (Cryptoprocta ferox)

The WWF is planning to capture a specimen of the new critter in order to study and describe the animal. Hopefully, the team of WWF scientists will be able to learn enough about this "new" animal in time to protect it from possible extinction. Thankfully, this little varmint was caught before it disappeared forever. Makes you wonder how many species we've missed before logging, farming, and hunting drove them to extinction.

One Way or Another...

2005-12-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

"I disagree with those who believe we should pull out, and I disagree with those who believe we should stay without end." -- Hillary Clinton

Well, uh...OK.

I'm getting really, really tired of this "kinda-sorta" shit from our "leaders" in the Democratic Party. Take a damned stand, Hillary!

"Clinton has agreed to co-sponsor a bill by Republican Utah Sen. Bob Bennett that would make it illegal for anyone to intimidate any other person by burning the flag, to burn someone else's flag or to desecrate the flag on federal property. At the same time, however, Clinton continues to oppose efforts to amend the Constitution to prohibit flag burning. Without such an amendment, it's not at all clear that Bennett's proposal would survive the inevitable trip to the Supreme Court." (Taken from Salon's "War Room")

Never mind...

Judgement, Rage, Retribution, and Thyme

2005-12-06T11:46:00.000-05:00

Some right-wing wanker who runs a blog called "Six Meat Buffet" ("where the mentally obese belly up to the buffet of truth") is trying to prove that Neocon swine and theocrat drones aren't completely L7 by listing ten rock songs "conservatives can love."

So, conservatives listen to something besides CCM, Creed, Lee Greenwood, jingoistic "hot country", and John Ashcroft?

I'm shocked. No, really. I guess this list is supposed to let us "elitist lefties" know that these big, bad, Bush-sniffin' losers are "cooler" than we thought.

Here's Mr. Six Meat's list:

The Kinks - "Catch Me Now I'm Falling"
The Kinks - "Young Conservatives"
Cracker - "Get off This"
The Eagles - "Get Over It"
Neil Young - "Let’s Roll"
Camper Van Beethoven - "Might Makes Right"
Sammy Hagar - "VOA"
The Circle Jerks - "When the Shit Hits the Fan"
The Beatles - "Taxman"
The Beatles - "Revolution #1"

Where to begin...?

First of all, The Kinks and The Beatles don't belong anywhere near a list of supposedly "conservative" rock songs. Ray Davies is one of rock's great cynics, so it's a pretty good bet that a Kinks song about young conservatives isn't going to be a fawning paean to jocko-homo, rich-boy frat geeks."Catch Me Now I'm Falling" is a satirical look at the low state of the American economy in the late '70s. The lyrics are a sneaky "piss off" to a big, rich America that was lookin' for a little sympathy when we had none to give in return. Sehr Konzervativ, ja?

Naturally, "Taxman" made the list because paying taxes is the bane of every spoiled-rotten, "gimme that it's MINE!" Republican pig. Oh sure, they'll call the cops if somebody steals any of their stuff; they'll call the fire department if their tract-home "starter mansion" goes up in flames; they'll bitch about how somebody needs to fix all the potholes while they make 'em bigger by driving around in their "all-terrain" behemoth-mobile SUVs, but that's beside the point. These greedy little bastards don't want to actually have to pay for any of these services. Oh, heavens no! They're gonna need all the cash they can get their sanitized hands on if they wanna keep running to stand still on the consumer-drone treadmill!

Now that I think about it, I might actually concede "Taxman" to die Republikanische Schweinekinder. That's all right -- we've still got "Piggies". No big loss. But, "Revolution #1"?! While you're misappropriating "Revolution #1", why not go ahead and stick "Fortunate Son" and "Working Class Hero" into your little right-wing hit parade?

As far as the Camper/Cracker songs are concerned, Mr. Six Meat couldn't be further off the mark. He goes out of his way to inform us that he "understands irony", but I have my doubts considering that he thinks "Might Makes Right" (from "New Roman Times") is a conservative song! Why don't you take a gander at the lyric sheet sometime, Meathead?

...And Republicans wonder why we think they're a bunch of hick cretins.

It's amazing how these dolts only acknowledge the title of a song and don't pay any attention to the lyrics. They did the same thing to "Born in the U.S.A." back in the '80s -- they didn't bother listening to any part of the song other than the chorus. "Born in the U.S.A." is about as anti-Republican as a top-40 song gets. Anybody with two neurons to rub together knows that Springsteen isn't a damned Republican. Get a clue, schmucks.

Six Meat seems to be lumping Cracker's "Get off This" in with the lame-stain, over-the-hill Boomer whining of "Get Over It". Wrongo, buckaroo! "Get off This" was David Lowrey's snarky way of getting back at all the hipster assholes who ditched him after he "sold-out" and formed Cracker from the remains of CVB. What this song has to do with a bunch of Republican mouth-breathers is far beyond me.

That brings us to the inclusion of "Let's Roll" -- a prime example of the frustratingly mercurial political beliefs of Neil Young. Here's a guy who can go from the pro-Reagan nonsense of "American Stars 'N Bars" to the hippie-dippy, eco-utopian nonsense of "Greendale" without so much as a passing explanation as to just what the hell it is that he actually believes. "Shakey" has been a little inconsistent throughout the years, but I think it's pretty clear to any astute listener that he's not exactly a cheerleader for PNAC. Thankfully, the righteous leftie salvo of "Keep on Rockin' in the Free World" not only mitigates the creaky bathos of "Let's Roll", but completely out-rocks it to boot.

OK, so what's left? The Eagles? Lite-rock/country/schmaltz/disco/frat-rock? Next...

Sammy Hagar, huh? Impressive. He's almost right up there with the Nuge and Alice Cooper in the right-wing has-been Hall of Fame. Hagar is sometimes referred to as the "Red Rocker", so you might want to double check with the right-wing brain-trust and find out if Sammy Hagar is a godless commie moonbat.

The Red Menace

Something tells me that he isn't, but you might want to double-check. Just to be on the safe side.

That leaves us with the Circle Jerks. Does anybody still care about these clowns? C'mon, Six Meat! If you're looking for a "conservative punk", you could have at least had the brains to nominate Johnny Ramone. Of course, Joey was a big-time liberal, so you might say the Ramones were "fair and balanced." Johnny was the dumb-shit guitar player and Joey wrote all the lyrics. Voila!

Remember: We've got Bob Dylan. You've got...who? Charlie Daniels?

Nice try, Six Meat.

Someone tell me why I do the things that I don't wanna do.

2005-12-05T00:21:00.000-05:00

It's 12:22 on a cold, cold Sunday night here in south-central Indiana.

There's nothing better on a cold Sunday night than to unwind with yer special someone and watch a good movie. I picked up a couple of hum-dingers over the weekend ("Frau im Mond" and "The Apartment") and they've been calling to me ever since I brought 'em home.

But, noooo...

Instead of settling in for an evening spent watching movies and drinking piping-hot Earl Grey with my goil, I spent three hours on some pointless damned project for one of my MIS classes. What did I accomplish in that precious three-hour chunk of time? Something just shy of a little bit more than nothing. "Jack-shit", if you like.

I was supposed to make a referential database in 4D, but the guy who gave us the assignment failed to mention that 4D is "user-friendly" in the same way that a pack of starving jackals is "kid-friendly." I'm sure I blew the project. Almost absolutely sure of it. It was a pretty grim way to spend a frigid Sunday night.

Now I know what those goofy man-apes felt like when that damned monolith showed up in their front yard...

This MIS program doesn't jibe with what I thought a Master's degree program would entail. There's no thought required to get through this crap -- only persistence and a high tolerance for being bored to the brink of insanity for hours on end.

I chose this over getting a Master's degree in geology? Better yet: I chose this over film school? Well, yeah -- the MIS program was the "practical" choice. You see, with this degree, I might someday get one of those "job" things I keep hearing about.

So, getting into the MIS program was a cheap and unabashedly cynical decision. Tempted by the dark side, I was...

I hit the chicken switch and chose to be bored stiff for the next year-and-a-half instead of getting my butt in gear and heading out to L.A. to get chewed up by the Machine. What the hell was I thinking? I'd rather be a runner for a decade than a code-monkey for a week, but I signed-up for a degree in terminal boredom anyway. Damnit.

Better get crackin' on that movie idea again...

Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody...

2005-12-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

Hi. This is just a test run, so I hope you didn't come here looking for anything profound or illuminating. This is my first foray in to the labyrinthine wilderness of the "blogosphere", so be gentle.

Before I go any further, let me address the following question:

"This ain't gonna be another "political blog", is it?"

Well, in a way...yes. Kinda. But, not all the way! Let's saaaay...30-40% of this thing is reserved for politics and the remaining 60-70% is kinda like recess, only without the skinned knees and those big maroon playground balls. So, y'know...movies, music, books, blah, blah, blah.

I guess it's only fair to warn you about the political content of this blog before I start spouting off about how this country is slowly being flushed down the crapper by a vile clutch of Neoconazi, war-pig, tycoon hell-spawn and their mouth-breathing, knuckle-walking legions of theocrat/Dominionist, "prosperity Gospel-preachin'", pod-people supporters.

Uh, I guess I just showed you my hand, didn't I? So much for surprises...

Oh, and science. Lotsa science. Let's say about 15-20% of the content on this blog will have something to do with science. Some weeks it might be higher than the proportion I just quoted you, but that all depends upon what's shakin' in the wide, wide world of science at the time.

There will also be the occasional sports-related entry, but don't hold your breath. At best, I'm a fan of IU basketball and the Cubs. But, seeing as how either team isn't exactly taking the world by storm, odds are I won't be bombarding you with up-to-the-minute sports info anytime soon. "The Sporting News", this ain't. Still, IU is having a pretty good season (relatively speaking), so there's always hope for the Hoosiers. The Cubs, on the other hand...

"Next year, man! Next year's our year! I can feel it!"

Damn you, Dusty Baker! Damn you straight to hell!

Enough qualifying. I'm going to bed. See ya later.

--N